I’ll Always Smile And Tell You I’m Fine

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I’ll always smile and tell you things are great.

I won’t tell you about the latest drama in my life or how I haven’t slept in a week. I won’t burden you with my issues and my problems that you were once too familiar with, instead, I will tell you about how great things have been, about the new friends I made and the new places I’ve been to and I will ask more about you and your life because in the middle of these conversations, I forget my sadness, I forget my problems and suddenly everything is incredible – everything is just fine.

I’ll always smile and tell you I’m dating other people.

I won’t tell you how they don’t compare to you, how I talk to them about you, how you always seem to come up in our conversations or in my mind and I won’t tell you that I don’t trust any of them. I won’t tell you that you were the last person who I trusted and you were the last person who never made me question if I was the only one and I won’t tell you that going out on these dates are exhausting because they remind me exactly why you are the love of my life and why you will always be the one who showed me what true love really is.

I’ll always smile and tell you I feel sorry for her.

I won’t tell you that I think she’s the luckiest woman in the world or that I envy her for all the special things she’ll get to share with you and how supportive you will be of her and her dreams and how you will change her life without even realizing that you did. I won’t ask you if you love her the way you loved me and I won’t ask you if you think she’s better for you but I will tell you that you are the best for her and that as long as she makes you happy, I can’t hate her. I’ll tell you that she’s beautiful but your beauty will always outshine anyone you’ll be with.

I’ll always smile and tell you I don’t miss you.

I won’t tell you that I terribly miss you, that my life is full of reminders of you; your favorite song, your favorite movie, your favorite book, the jokes you like and the words you told me. I won’t tell you that I could forget you but I choose to remember you, that I could stop seeing you but I choose to keep you in my life and I won’t tell you that even though I can easily let people go, I want to hold on to you.

At times, I think maybe we could give each other a second chance and other times I wonder if we are even the same people we fell in love with.

I’ll always smile when I see you and I won’t tell you that to this day, no one else can make me smile quite like you do.  TC mark

Rania Naim

Writing makes me feel alive. Words heal me.

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