Rachel Hodin

Tinder is taxing. If you live in Brooklyn you’ll have to pass by around 400 chevron and 200 horseshoe mustaches before stumbling on a cutie…

Her body exhausted, ready to evade her and cease living, but her eyelids, heart and fingertips wired, running at high-speed…

I’m a millenial and I blog; I know what I’m talking about.

2. Never going bra shopping.

8. A swelling sense of lame-ness.

Her nails were long – like really long – and pointy, very very pointy. They looked like daggers – except fake daggers, press-on daggers…but daggers nonetheless.

14. Jeremy Sisto.

2. Tindering.

So Hannah has slipped and showed signs of immaturity. Oh, the horror! Except wait; isn’t this normally a mark of a true human being, complete with all of our humanly flaws?

6. The crouching mirror hidden flaws selfie.

1. She’s too typical.

3. Japanese-Jewish cuisine.

The most honest depictions of a woman’s power over a man can be found in literature, as Clive James argues in his book Cultural Amnesia. He gives the example of “the first thing that happens in literature”: “Troy burned because Paris was smitten by Helen’s beauty.”

2. They have no patience for you.

While actions do speak louder than words, I’ve found that emojis are the noisiest of all.

34. “Mewling quim” – literally translates to “a whimpering vagina.”

9. Taylor Swift.

7. E.B. White to his wife on the occasion of her pregnancy, “written” by their dog.