1. A go-to drink… I’m a fan of vodka sodas with lime. I like them because vodka wasn’t an alcohol I over-drank in college (unlike SoCo and Captain Morgan) and it neither tastes good or bad, so it’s a win! I go for a Pinot Grigio when the mood strikes, or for when I don’t feel like drinking too much but usually end up doing it anyway. And when it comes to beer, I prefer an Allagash White or a Blue Moon. Or Shipyard Pumpkin during the season. Although, I have drank my fair share of Miller Lites while low on cash. (That’s generally the case.) When you have a go-to drink, you appear to be a lady who knows what she wants. Even if you’re out with a guy who will end up a total mistake, at least you appeared confident with your decisions for a moment in time!
2. A go-to Karaoke song. Or the decision to never sing Karaoke. If you can sing really well, then you’re allowed to go for the divas like Mariah Carey or Whitney Houston. Know your strengths! Maybe you’re not a great singer but a great performer. Maybe you can rap really well. Maybe you’re a girl who can do a killer McJagger impression. Choose a song that showcases your strengths and has people cheering for you. Not yelling at you to get off the stage (drunk people will do that.) And if you have no performing/musical strengths… stick to the bar! Drinks! Mmmm! (My go-to songs are “Whatta Man” by Salt-n-Peppa or “99 Problems” by Jay Z.)
3. A uniform. I like dresses. And leather or denim jackets. I rarely wear jeans. I’m dabbling in them a little more, but they’re rare. I have a make-up routine that I stick to… and doesn’t involve all that much make-up at all. My hair is usually the same way – or some variation of straight or curly. That’s the style I’m super comfortable and confident in. If you love your jeans and a hoodie, rock it! Find what you love… and buy it in bulk. But don’t shop at Costco for clothes. Don’t!
4. A hair stylist they love. Every eight weeks or so, I get my hair cut by a woman that I love and trust. The moment I met her, I knew she’d be the one for me. She even sort of looked liked me, what with her tattoos and wavy hair. So I felt comfortable talking to her and over time, we got to know each other. I dread having to talk to a stranger for a half hour or so. But she makes it easy! Also, I feel confident asking her questions about my hair because she knows her shit. She’ll tell me what products I should use or stay away from based on my hair type and she’s honest with me about what I should splurge on and what isn’t worth it. She never lies to me and she doesn’t even encourage me to get my hair colored there, she gave me tips on how to do it better at home. Every time I leave her chair, I feel great! And she gives me free bang trims. She’s just perfect and my life is better because of her.
5. An exercise routine. Some of my friends are die hard Zumba fans, Crossfit fanatics or boot camp connoisseurs. Oh, and some people just like the regular old gym. I, however, have social anxiety. Personally, I find exercising to be a relaxing, personal endeavor. I like jogging alone with my thoughts and music. And I love doing yoga and pilates. It works for me, I enjoy doing it and it makes me feel confident. That might totally bore other people, but it’s all about doing what you love. You’ll never stick to something if someone is forcing you to adapt to their routine. Try new things, but keep the old.
6. A hobby. We all have to work and pay bills and seemingly, the only hobby we find time for is drinking. But doing something else to get the brain functioning in other ways is REALLY helpful. It could be simple like shopping. I LOVE shopping. It makes me feel better, even when I’m just browsing. I like grabbing a coffee, going for a walk and stopping in my favorite stores. I also like performing improv comedy, blogging, writing, cleaning and re-arranging my room/shelves (seriously), art, photography, DIY projects, browsing the internet, collecting records and listening to new music. But, I hardly ever do these things! We should spend more time doing activities we just like to sit back and enjoy doing. It’s important to settle our minds every now and then and not just think of where we need to be next and how we’re going to pass the time while we wait. I watch so much Netflix bullshit. And I won’t deny that I love it. But on the odd day where I pick up my camera and go outside or find a craft on Pinterest to replicate or whatever it is… I feel a little more fulfilled. It’s a good feeling. I just forget about it the next day when I start watching more “How I Met Your Mother.”
7. A best friend. It’s always good to have someone to bother when you’re lonely. I don’t think every girl needs a boyfriend… or male companion. They’re great, don’t get me wrong, but I don’t think anyone needs a significant other more than a best friend. I have a lot of people I reach out to when I’m feeling lonely… and more often than not, it’s not my boyfriend. He’s bad at texting.
8. A healthy sense of self. Women are always going to compare themselves to other women, that’s just a fact, but for the majority of the day… we should be happy with who we are. We should come to terms with our flaws and embrace them as good qualities. It’s what makes us different that makes us who we are, as corny as that sounds. At the end of the day, a woman should want to be herself more than anybody else.