deep conversation starters

120+ Deep Conversation Starters to Spark a Meaningful Discussion [2020]

A deep conversation starter is one that encourages a questioning of life, love, meaning, and more. Deep questions can help to connect you spiritually, intellectually, intuitively, and emotionally with another person. It can spark a deep conversation that can help you to build a meaningful relationship and connective tissue that is irreplaceable.

The deep questions list below is designed to spark a wonderful conversation between you and another person or between you and a group of people. Conversation starters by nature are questions that can help to break the ice in a conversation. A great conversation starter is one that asks a personal question but isn’t too personal. It allows the other person to break free of their introverted thoughts or inner shell and get into small talk that can lead to a good discussion or deep discussion.

Family Dinner Deep Conversation Starters

  1. What’s your favorite memory as a child?
  2. What’s your favorite recent memory from school?
  3. What’s one thing you cherish about our family?
  4. What would you change in this world if you could?
  5. What do you think religion is for most of our country?
  6. What is politics to you?
  7. How do you define happiness for yourself?
  8. What’s one thing you’d like to accomplish in your life?
  9. How do you make friends?
  10. What does love mean to you?
  11. What’s one thing you could change about yourself if you could?
  12. What’s one thing you could change about someone here if you could?
  13. What’s your biggest fear in life?
  14. What’s your biggest fear in love?
  15. What makes a genuine relationship with your siblings?
  16. What do you think our family could improve on?
  17. What’s one thing you value most about our family?
  18. What’s one thing you least value about our family?
  19. How do you define success within our family?
  20. Who inspires you the most?
  21. Tell me one of your most recent inspiring stories about life or love.
  22. What’s the hardest thing you had to do at work or school?
  23. What’s the hardest thing you’ve had to do at home?
  24. What type of parents do you think we are?
  25. Who makes our family successful?
  26. How do you think you’ll parent as you get older?
  27. Who inspires you the most?
  28. Who would you have dinner with if you could?
  29. What do you think entrepreneurship is?
  30. What’s one thing you wish you could have invented?
  31. What’s a question you ask when you want to have a deeper conversation with someone?
  32. Tell me the weirdest thing you think of when it comes to our family.
  33. Tell me the last time you didn’t feel happy and what that looked like.
  34. Tell me an idea you had as a kid that you wish you kept.
  35. What’s your favorite thing about this family?
  36. What do you value about your loved one at the table here now?
  37. What makes a meaningful conversation to you?

Deep & Funny Conversation Starters

  1. What do you think purple would smell like?
  2. What do you think my favorite food is?
  3. What do you think one of my drunk adventures looked like in college?
  4. Tell me one of your favorite funny jokes.
  5. If you had to pick one, money or love, what would it be?
  6. If you had to bring one thing to a deserted island, what would it be?
  7. Can you jump on one leg and touch your nose?
  8. When’s the last time you farted?
  9. When’s the last time you needed space?
  10. Who is god and what does he/she look like?
  11. What does the future of the human realm look like?
  12. What is the worst destruction humans can do?
  13. Are emotions required in humans?
  14. How are emotions useful for the human race?
  15. What’s most likely to bring about the extinction of the human race or world?
  16. What planet should we colonize?
  17. How would we colonize another planet?
  18. Are humans good for this planet?
  19. Which celebrity would you put on mars?
  20. Which celebrity would make the best president?
  21. Is taking a life ever justified? Why?

Deep Married Couple Conversation Starters

  1. Tell me about your romantic relationship.
  2. How did you two meet?
  3. What makes your relationship unique?
  4. What would you change about your relationship?
  5. What do you value most about your relationship?
  6. Who in this world is your example for a good relationship?
  7. Who in this world is your example for a bad relationship?
  8. How do you define a loving relationship?
  9. How do you know the right question to ask your partner in the morning?
  10. What made your conversation partner’s childhood difficult?
  11. What made your conversation partner’s childhood great?
  12. What are your partner’s parents like?
  13. Do your partner’s parents love each other? How do they love each other?
  14. How do you know when you should be supportive?
  15. How do you know when you should tell the truth to your partner?
  16. How do you know that you should tell a white lie to your partner?
  17. How do you know when you’ve made your partner happy?
  18. How do you know when you’ve made your partner sad?
  19. How do you know when you’ve made your partner angry?
  20. What’s one thing you wish you could change about your relationship?
  21. What’s one thing you wish you could change about your past with your partner?
  22. Who wears the pants?
  23. How do you make sacrifices and make decisions together?
  24. How do you compromise?
  25. How do you define love between each other?
  26. Tell me about the last interesting conversation you had with your partner.
  27. What deep topics do you both talk about the most?
  28. What deep topics do you both avoid talking about the most?
  29. When’s the last time you played the 21 questions game?
  30. When’s the last time you asked each other funny questions?
  31. How do you both define a good conversation between you two?
  32. How do you both define a bad conversation between you two?
  33. What does understanding mean to you both?
  34. What does listening mean to you both?
  35. How long have you been married and how did you know you were in love?

Deep Dinner Party Conversation Starters

  1. What’s the worst dinner party you’ve ever been to?
  2. What’s the best dinner party you’ve ever been to?
  3. What type of interesting questions do you think should be asked at a dinner party?
  4. What type of questions should not be asked at a dinner party?
  5. What do you expect from a dinner party?
  6. Tell me one nice thing about the person to your left.
  7. Tell me one thing you wish you knew about the person to your left.
  8. What is the meaning of life to you?
  9. What’s one word to describe yourself?
  10. What’s one word to describe your past?
  11. What’s one word to describe your future?
  12. What do you think the human race looks like in 5 years?
  13. What do you think the human race looks like in 10 years?
  14. What do you think the human race looks like in 100 years?
  15. Who is the most influential person on this planet?
  16. Who is the last influential person on this planet?
  17. How do you know you are in love?
  18. How would you tell others what love is?
  19. What’s one word you would use to describe love?
  20. What’s one word you would use to describe change?
  21. What’s one word you would use to describe the human race?
  22. How do you make change in your life?
  23. Who has been the most supportive person in your life?
  24. How many deep relationships do you have in your life?
  25. Who is a person you wish you never met?
  26. Who is a person you’re glad you met?
  27. Tell me what your mom was/is like.
  28. Tell me what your childhood was like.
  29. Tell me what your dad was/is like.
  30. What characteristics define your personality?

Deep Conversation Topic Choices

When thinking of a conversation topic to introduce to the discussion, consider life, love, emotions, the future, personality traits, and the past. These are areas of interest that can make for great conversation starters when you want the conversation to be more emotional, intellectual, and deep. A great question to ask is one that’s going to spark thought, retrospective, and ensures a conversation opener; meaning each party feels compelled to share more.

Here are additional resources for good conversation starter ideas; 52 Existential Questions and the 21 Questions Game. Both of these are great resources for cultivating interesting questions to ask others in the room. The 21 questions game can be enjoyable to play with people you aren’t familiar with and as the questions continue to be asked, often lead to deeper conversations and deeper questions.

More Conversation Starters

About the author
My name is Patrick, I build things, I am a human but I am also a robot. Gliese 581-G is my home town. I assist with product, technology, and business strategy at Thought Catalog and Collective World. Follow Patrick on Instagram or read more articles from Patrick on Thought Catalog.

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