14 Women Who Live With Their Boyfriends Reveal What They Do When He’s Not Home

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vare4ka.4istyakova

1. “If I have a pimple, I pop it, and usually it takes me a while.” —Ashley, 25

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2. “I eat really weird things that I’m too embarrassed to eat when he’s around, like graham crackers with yellow mustard. Yes, I’m aware that sounds absolutely disgusting, which is why I don’t eat it in front of him.” —Carlie, 26

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3. “Fart freely. If he’s around I’ll hold it in…unless I physically can’t, but even then, I try to make it a quiet one.” —Michelle, 26

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4. “I have my CD case from childhood, like Backstreet Boys, Britney circa 99, LFO, all that good stuff, and when he’s not home, I’ll blast them.” —Hannah, 25

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5. “I stalk his Instagram, not in a creepy way like I want to know what he’s up to, in a creepy way like I think he’s the cutest human being on this earth. When he’s home I can’t creepily look at photos of him, that would just be weird.” —Nora, 27

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6. “I pee without closing the bathroom door.” —Jacqueline, 28

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7. “When he’s not home I don’t flush. I could lie and say I’m trying to save water, but really I’m just lazy.” —Ally, 27

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8. “I organize his closet in outfits I’d like him to wear. He’ll get home and see the pink polo he never wears on the first hanger and be like WTF.” —Katie, 25

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9. “I experiment with my makeup a lot when he’s not around. Contouring. I tried that when he wasn’t home, and I’m really glad I did, because I looked batshit crazy. I don’t know how those Kardashians do it.” —Amanda, 28

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10. “I call my mom. Mostly because when he’s not there I can talk about him, but even if the conversation’s not about him, I don’t have to worry about her saying shit I really don’t want him to hear.” —Martina, 26

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11. “I read my literotica. Million times better than porn that you watch. I’m not even sure if he knows I own those books, he’d probably actually be turned on if he knew that I did.” —Tiffany, 28

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12. “Face masks. He freaks out if I do them when he’s home, either that or he calls me Medusa.” —Alex, 28

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13. “Utilize my bong. He hates when I smoke in the apartment, and my newly purchased bong has been just sitting in the corner of our bedroom. Every time I look at it, it’s like ‘Smoke me, PLEASE!'” —Becca, 26

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14. “Oh, that’s an easy one, masturbate, and I’m sure I’m not the only one.” —Lexi, 27 TC mark

Nicole Tarkoff

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather

Let go now

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  • http://allensrepositoryofstuff.wordpress.com allensrepositoryofstuff

    It always amazes me what ladies do when the boys are not around. I don’t mind her masturbating when I am not home, but I prefer that she uses her bong on the back porch as I hate the smell.

  • http://boredwon.com/girlfriends-do-these-7-weird-things-when-you-arent-home/ Girlfriends Do These 7 Weird Things When You Aren't Home - BoredWon

    […] recent post at Thought Catalog revealed numerous odd things women admitted to doing when their live-in boyfriends aren’t home. BoredWon has picked the best (re: weirdest) ones […]

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