7 Healthy Reasons Not To Put Your Partner On A Pedestal

Twenty20 / cecbag
Twenty20 / cecbag

1. Your partner is a human not a god.

No matter how great you think you’re partner may be, they will make mistakes. They will fall off the pedestal you put them on and while they may get back on their own two feet, they want to remain on the ground with you, on your level.

2. Your partner will collapse attempting to maintain your idea of perfection.

Admiration is flattering, but when it becomes expectations your partner feels they have to live up to, it turns to pressure they can’t withstand. The amount of times you tell your partner they are perfect is the amount of times they feel they have to prove you right. No one is perfect. Make your partner feel special, make them feel like they are enough, but don’t make them feel pressured to constantly be more.

3. You will unintentionally stunt their growth.

It is wonderful to have someone who motivates you to be better, but when you put your partner on a pedestal you’re sending the message that they are the best they can ever be. It is sometimes easier to improve and work your way up than it is to maintain being the best.

4. You’re creating an idea of the person you think they are.

And they will try to become this idea of who you want them to be. What you fail to realize is that the idea you have of them doesn’t always match reality, and this leads to your partner trying to be someone they’re not. They’re trying to be the way you see them, and not the way they actually are.

5. You may be provoking insecurity.

It’s hard to see ourselves the way others see us, and if you see your partner as pure perfection, they might start to think about how they are flawed. A complete contradiction? Yes, but if the pedestal you’re putting your partner on is so high up, they can’t help but question how they got up there.

6. They won’t be comfortable enough to show you their imperfections.

You should love your partner for their strengths and their weaknesses, because they do have both. When they feel that you only recognize their strengths, they will be terrified to ever show you their flaws. Love is acceptance, and your partner wants you to accept all of them, not just the good parts.

7. The pedestal might be the reason they leave.

They might fuck up royally at one point or another, and sometimes they’re so scared of disappointing you that they will leave before it ever happens. You might never see them mess things up because they’ll run before they even get the chance, and that way, they remain on the pedestal even after they’re gone. TC mark

Nicole Tarkoff

Writer based in the Philadelphia area. Person who really loves her dog and watching cooking shows. Check out my writing on Thought Catalog and follow me on Facebook! Connect with me and submit your work on Collective World.

This is me letting you go

If there’s one thing we all need to stop doing, it’s waiting around for someone else to show up and change our lives. Just be the person you’ve been waiting for.

At the end of the day, you have two choices in love – one is to accept someone just as they are and the other is to walk away.

We owe it to ourselves to live the greatest life that we’re capable of living, even if that means that we have to be alone for a very long time.

“Everyone could use a book like this at some point in their life.” – Heather

Let go now

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