Nico Lang

Bald people are superheroes.

39. “Leaving Las Vegas”: When it came out in Japan, the movie was called “I’m Drunk and You’re a Prostitute.”

“You deserve to be happy.”

Seth MacFarlane doesn’t hate racism. Rest assured, America: Seth MacFarlane hates you.

1. You can quote the entire show in your sleep — and probably do. You’ve been known to reference GG without even realizing that was a Gilmore Girls quote.

7. You flirt with ordering something new, but you always know what you’re going to get. You know what you like and you don’t apologize.

When Streep tried out for ‘King Kong,’ Dino DeLaurentis told his son, in Italian, that Streep was too ugly for the part. Meryl shocked the sh*t out of him when she replied back in fluent Italian.

“You don’t need no gun control. We need some bullet control. I think all bullets should cost $5000. ‘Cause if a bullet costs $5000, there’d be no more innocent bystanders.”

I knew I was in love when I pulled his body from a car wreck.

“Cheryl’s mind turned like the vanes of a wind-powered turbine, chopping her sparrow-like thoughts into bloody pieces that fell onto a growing pile of forgotten memories.”

Ohio might be like a drunk uncle, but it’s your drunk uncle.

If the internet is to be believed, Pitch Perfect is the new Mean Girls.

27. “I’d rather smoke crack than eat cheese from a tin.”

Fact: The Wizard of Oz has some of the wildest behind-the-scenes facts of any movie ever.

Did you know Gandhi never said, “Be the change you want to see in the world?”

Love sucks, but it sucks a lot less when you find the right person to be in love with. Actually, you might find that it doesn’t suck, not even a little bit, not even at all.

When you’ve gotten over the pain, staying in this third stage — the place where you don’t feel hungry, just empty and tired — becomes like a habit, the thing you use to feel death inside you. Some people smoke. You just don’t eat.

No matter what you think of Miley Cyrus personally, it’s about time we all started respecting the right of women to make mistakes and get messy — because that’s what sexuality is.