Inasmuch as I would like to deny it, I’ll be waiting for you. I don’t know how long, or how desperate, or how lonely I would have to be before you come into my life, but I still hold onto this tiny flicker of hope as I imagine that day when I lay my eyes on you as I whisper, “So this is why I waited.”
You are the light at the end of my tunnel. And as I travel this dark and somehow cold universe, I will always look forward to seeing you at the end of all these – a comet that’s bound to destroy Earth, making it a more beautiful place to live in.
These are the things I would like to tell you before knowing you, and probably how I pray to God I hope you’ll be.
I would like to start by apologizing in advance. I’m sorry that it took us a while to be together. By now, I guess it’s safe to say that we’ve probably both had our fair share of heartaches and while I know that they made us stronger, that they made us the persons that we are today, I’m still sorry that we had to go through all of them before finally ending up in each other’s arms. I’m sorry if it will take a while before I trust you. I’m sorry if there will be times during our first memories when I doubt you – the things you do, the words you say – but I promise once I see that even after all the pain that I’ve been through there is still someone who could truly love me, one that would never leave, I would give you all my heart like I’ve never loved before.
Please be patient with me, for I am a work in progress, and our love story will be my masterpiece. But be reminded that if there’s one thing that I will never question, it is your love, for through it I will breathe again, and because of it my world will never be dark again.
I look forward to knowing everything about you. I can’t wait how we would first meet, the first words we’ll say to each other, our first date, the first restaurant, movie, and country we’ll visit, our first anniversary, our first kiss. I can’t wait to know the color of your eyes, the sound of your voice, the way you smell, and how your hands would perfectly fit into mine. I can’t wait hearing your rants about the things that annoy you and your happy screams because of the things you adore. I can’t wait for our first fight, and the first time we overcome a problem.
I can’t wait to share every moment with you, no matter how mundane they are: buying our groceries, handing you the new bottle of shampoo in the bathroom, redecorating our room, giving each other back massages, or sharing a coffee together on a quiet Sunday morning. But who knows? Maybe we’ve already met. Maybe we’ve already exchanged some firsts. Maybe our paths have somehow crossed once. Nevertheless, I am looking forward to falling in love with you, and waking up with your beautiful face across mine for all the coming mornings in my life.
I am an imperfect soul, this I know for sure, but if you are the person who I think you are, you will embrace me and all my broken parts as I do the same with and for you. I always believed that the person meant for me is not someone who will fix me but instead, someone whose broken pieces will fit into mine. This person will be you, my love in the future, and we will be two imperfect souls guided by Someone greater, and our story will be written by Someone bigger than us.
And while we’re waiting, I will continue praying about you, hoping for your earliest possible arrival, and imagining the kind of person that you are. I just hope that you’ll like the person that I am, and if we’re really meant to be together, I am confident that you will. I hope you like me even if I get too clingy for whenever we’re together, I will give you warm embraces, to remind you how much I care for you. I hope you like me even if I tend to overthink and worry about a lot of things.
You see, I always have to be reminded. I have to be reminded that it’s all going to be okay, and that you love me. I will ask you to simply hold my hand because your warmth will be the only thing that would comfort me. I hope you like surprises, no matter how simple they are. I hope you like letting me know how your day is going or how it went, for I will always be interested about how your life unfolds each day. And lastly, I hope you like little love notes and love letters, no matter how corny or cheesy they become, for I will never get tired of writing words of love and affection for you. You will be the greatest poem I will ever write, and your voice the greatest voice I’ll ever hear.
Finally, although again it’s too early to say this but thank you for coming into my life. Clichéd, I know, but still I would like to thank you for your patience and your endurance for making it this far. We may still have a long time before we meet but at least for now, I would like to you know all these things. We may even not end up together but I sincerely hope that we do, for you’re still the person my heart will beat for next, and I pray to God that you are the last. I pray that you really would be the light at the end of my tunnel, the shooting star I waited for in the every starry sky. I pray that you are the reason why my relationships in the past never worked. And I pray that you are doing well today for I am definitely looking forward to meeting you tomorrow.
For now, you are my great unknown. Although I am not afraid because you are my hope and in your heart lies the answers to all my wonders. I love you, my future human.