To really benefit from this article, you’ll first have to get down from your high horse this instance. Stop bashing the mistress, the “other” woman, whatever you call her. Whether you like it or not, mistresses exist for a reason. They thrive because they’re better than you in ways you refuse to acknowledge. There isn’t a fairer game than love. Says who. She’s a cheater. Well for one, nobody can force a man to love. It is a contest of patience and willingness, of kindness and grace and of all the virtues that make a person worth loving. Yet, you can still lose at love even without the “other” woman.
I’ve been a girlfriend, a wife and the contrary. None is better than the other but I can tell you this: a mistress brings vitality back into a man’s dying heart. On that accord, is there not something worthwhile for us to explore?
Still with me? Good.
1. Mistresses are fun to be around.
She’s always delighted to see him. It reflects in many subtle ways: a smile, a glance, a gesture, a tone of voice and the response to his touch. She makes sure to wipe off her sour face after a bad day. That explains why he looks forward to seeing her again.
2. Mistresses show interest in a man’s hobbies.
He bumps into her on the jogging tracks or in the corner of a toy museum or at his favorite jazz club. Similar interest is what fuels a love affair in the first place. Sharing hobbies and interests breeds common ground for two people to grow closer.
3. Mistresses don’t judge.
He tells her everything: his secrets, his deepest desires, his aspirations and his darkest thoughts. He knows they’re safe with her. He is safe with her. She doesn’t turn around and make a fool of him. She accepts all that he is.
4. Mistresses look after their own bodies.
She works out, keeps her diet in check, does her hair right, puts on a nice dress and picks a scent that best suits it. Occasionally, she goes to a spa to calm her mood. She does things to make herself feel more feminine, more beautiful and more confident.
5. Mistresses affirm men.
When he gets a job well done, she compliments him. When he does something nice for her, she appreciates him. When he’s beaten down, she encourages him. She explicitly displays those forms of affection in action and in words.
6. Mistresses make men feel important.
She is submissive. I’m not talking about 50 shades kind of submission although that would be a plus. She listens to him and constantly seeks out his opinions regarding her thoughts and the things she wishes to pursue. Allowing him certain control over her life makes him feel needed and ultimately wanted.
7. Mistresses are very open to sex.
She almost never rejects him. She isn’t ashamed to initiate. She wears sexy lingerie. She is willing to try something new or forbidden: a place, a position or a toy. She tries her best to satisfy his every fantasy. I think that’s enough information to prove a point.
8. Mistresses live in the moment.
No pounding him with expectations. No second-guessing. No tormenting him over minute faults. No time for all of that. She doesn’t dwell too long in the bitterness of not being but simply enjoys the phase of having been. Given only crumbs of his time, she loves like there’s no tomorrow.
Now, let’s be clear about one thing. You won’t lose a single fiber of your morality because you agreed with some (or all) of the above. In fact, a handful of you might start to feel the guilt of how little you’re actually giving. I know I have while writing this post.
It’s time to put back the spark in your relationship that has grown routine, perhaps mundane or frustrating. It’s time for romance to return to the season.
I’ve been having a love affair for a week now — with my husband of course. I can’t begin to tell you how thrilling it has been. Have one with yours, or your boyfriend if you haven’t. Have one starting tonight. Have one before someone else does.