Lost Love Is Not Wasted Love

Tanja Heffner

I used to think lost love was a waste. After a breakup I would think about the time I had lost, or the time I could have spent on something else. I would think about all the weeks and months that I had spent with this person, building trust and forming a connection, only to have it ripped away in a matter of minutes.

I used to be heartbroken about my breakup, but even more than that, I would be disappointed that my love had been a waste. A waste of time I could have spent getting to know someone new or loving someone else. A waste of time I could have spent with my family or friends, or working on my ambitions.

But I’ve learned over time that this is not the case.

A failed love is not a waste. And no love is truly a failure.

Just because you don’t have a future with someone doesn’t mean that your time with them was a failure. It just means that you weren’t meant for each other. But I like to believe that you found each other at that time for a specific reason.

Every person you love in your lifetime has meaning. Every person you have loved entered your life for a reason, whether it was to teach you something or help you through something, or simply be there when you had no one else.

No one you love is irrelevant.

They couldn’t be. If they were irrelevant you wouldn’t love them. They meant something.

I used to think that the time spent with someone who decided to walk away was time I could have used working on myself. But what I didn’t realise was that I was working on myself, just in a different way. Being with this person that I loved taught me things about myself that I never would have learned when I was alone. They taught me what values I admired, or which traits I couldn’t stand. They taught me the way I wanted to be treated, or what type of treatment I wouldn’t tolerate.

Walking away from someone I loved wasn’t a waste, it was a lesson. A stepping stone to help me move on to what I deserved.

Over time, I have learned that lost love is not wasted love. It can’t be. Love is a beautiful thing, and to love and be loved is one of the greatest feelings in life. It’s a feeling that some people spend their entire lives searching for.

So how can this beautiful thing be a waste? Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Following my heart and writing about where it takes me.

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