1. Bless your little heart.
2. I’m sure you’re doing the best you can.
3. Good for you—I could never pull that off.
4. I’m confused…
5. I love how you can just wear anything.
6. I think it’s just not for me.
7. You would say that.
8. Can you explain what you were going for, exactly?
9. I feel like I asked too much of you.
10. I can explain it to you again, but I don’t think I can really help you understand.
12. I don’t care what [insert mutual acquaintance] says. You’re great!
13. That’s really awesome—especially for you.
14. It’s different.
15. I don’t think I have the time to explain this to you.
16. SSSSSHHHHHHH [and nothing else]
17. As much as I respect and appreciate your opinion…
18. What do you think about trying something new?
19. Not to be rude, but…
20. Did you lose weight?
21. I wish I could eat like you—without feeling guilty.
22. It’s nice to see not everyone’s obsessed with appearances.
23. Thanks, but we’re gonna go a different way.
24. Well that was a strangely clever thing for you to stay.
25. I really admire how little you seem to care what other people think.
26. Well, at least you’re really pretty.
27. You look so comfortable today.
28. You look so good—for your age.
29. Yay! Someone’s not a total asshole today!
30. I bet you were really hot back when you were young.