The Warning Label You Should Come With, Based On Your Zodiac Sign

Cancer

(June 22nd to July 22nd)

May burst into tears spontaneously at any given moment, especially when feeling seriously misunderstood.

Scorpio

(October 23rd to November 22nd)

May sink into a passive aggressive mean streak if betrayed (by their calculation) by anyone, particularly those they love.

Pisces

(February 19th to March 20th)

May go to extreme lengths to woo you with supremely romantic gestures but move onto someone new right as you fall for them because they’re already chasing the next adventure.

Aries

(March 21st to April 19th)

May appear to be more interested than they actually are as they shower you with copious affection. In fact, they’re paying that much attention to five other people simultaneously because they really are that passionate, and they have that much energy.

Leo

(July 23rd to August 22nd)

May be so straightforward that they inadvertently insult you routinely because they’re not even aware of the depths of their assholery.

Sagittarius

(November 23rd to December 21st)

May break out into song or an interpretive dance at any given moment because they suddenly feel the urge—nay, the need—to express themselves.

Taurus

(April 20th to May 21st)

May accuse you of impatience if you dare to question where things stand or why they’re being so slow to come around on a certain issue because they value taking their time and therefore resent being rushed in any way.

Virgo

(August 23rd to September 22nd)

May fish for compliments because their need to feel desired and validated is so prominent.

Capricorn

(December 22nd to January 20th)

May give you the stink eye for being silly because they are so serious about literally everything.

Gemini

(May 22nd to June 21st)

May berate you for misleading them if they misunderstand something you’ve said because communication is of the utmost importance to them.

Libra

(September 23rd to October 22nd)

May try to lure you into a cult they’ve accidentally joined because they were drawn to the organization’s core mantra to “maintain peace and harmony” throughout the world.

Aquarius

(January 21st to February 18th)

May lead you into surprisingly complicated conversational traps with the intent of testing your intellect in the most pretentious way possible. TC mark

Mélanie Berliet

I adore the following, in no particular order: knee-high tube socks, acrostic poetry, and my little brother. Click here to learn more!

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You look back and you just feel stupid.
You can’t forgive yourself for falling
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You reread every text.
You relive every memory.
And it all starts making sense —
he never wanted love.
He only wanted attention.
He only wanted validation.

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