1. When only one person is wasted and the other has to either deal with the sloppiness or suck it up and wait to get their needs met.
2. When you decide to get it on just because it’s a special occasion like a birthday or an anniversary but you’d both secretly rather not, so the sex is less than meh.
3. When someone has cottonmouth and the other’s desperate for oral.
4. When your absolute best effort to turn your partner on ends up making them laugh because they’re ticklish or just not feeling it.
5. When you realize how awesome hate fucking is, which kind of makes you want to pick more fights.
6. When someone gets caught sneaking a peak at the clock mid sesh.
7. When a weird bodily noise like a queaf makes you both crack up.
8. When an attempt to fake it falls totally flat.
9. When one person wakes up super early feeling incredibly horny so they find a not-so-subtle way to wake up their partner, but they end up pissing them off instead of getting laid.
10. When you get a hot tip about how to make your boyfriend or girlfriend climax like crazy but your execution flops and you feel kind of weird for even trying.
11. When one person isn’t at all in the mood but offers their body out of pity anyway.
12. When someone’s sick or injured and they decide that sex will make them feel better but they regret initiating intimacy seconds later.
13. When you realize, mid sex, that you’re fantasizing about someone other than your significant other—which means that your partner must fantasy cheat on you too sometimes.
14. When someone screams the wrong name by accident and then they have to do their best to convince their partner that they’re definitely not *the least bit* attracted to that other man or woman.
15. When someone yawns and then makes the lame claim that it’s due to lack of oxygen and not lack of interest.
16. When it hits you that you definitely have a sexual routine as a couple so you freak out that things are getting dull and decide to try a few new positions, but doing so proves super tedious and/or painful.
17. When you happen upon a new badass position inadvertently and pledge to experiment more often.
18. But then you struggle to replicate the experience and get upset that you can’t relive the magic.
19. When you misjudge how close your partner is to orgasming so you rush to finish but end up climaxing way too early and get super bored waiting for them to catch up.
20. When one person makes an aggressive future sexual promise just so they can put off intercourse until the next day without getting too much heat about it.
21. When someone breaks out into song or says something in bed indicating that their mind is definitely elsewhere.
22. When one person’s totally turned on by a scene in a movie or TV show that the other finds revolting or disturbing.
23. When foreplay forces you to acknowledge that pre-cum is definitely a real thing, which makes you rethink the pull-out method all over again.