1. Never making plans in advance.
Since we’re all super connected with our high-tech devices these days, it’s not like the expectation that you can reach someone at any point in time is all that outrageous. However, the Internet wasn’t invented to exempt dudes from making any commitment beyond a “Friday night hangout sesh.” No matter how smart your phone is, it’s not out of line to expect a guy to pick a time, a place, and means of entertainment when he asks you out.
2. Changing or canceling plans at the last minute.
In the event that a plan, however loose, is made in advance, global interconnectedness isn’t an excuse to arrive late, change things up, or cancel at the last minute. Even for the most easygoing, accommodating women, consistent rudeness gets old fast.
3. Diehard allegiance to the “bros before hos” philosophy.
Just because it rhymes, doesn’t make it right.
4. Clinging to non-exclusive status.
Guys seem to love lingering in the murky “we’re not exclusive yet” waters, as if exiting this dating phase places them one unbearably minuscule step away from the altar. The thing is, there’s a long way to go from exclusive dating to lifelong commitment. Women know this, and it’s insulting for a man to assume that every tiny sign of relationship progress will be misinterpreted or exaggerated.
5. Insinuating that it’s demanding to raise the issue of exclusivity.
A lot of guys manage to imply that it’s somehow demanding for a woman to raise the issue of exclusivity, but anyone has the right to address the topic at any point in a relationship. In fact, it’s wise to be up front about your expectations early on, because even if you’re not having sex yet (i.e. not yet at risk of contracting any new STIs), your emotional health is at stake.
6. Refusing to use the word “girlfriend.”
Girlfriend is one of those words that terrifies dudes because they assume a woman will view it as a giant leap towards walking down the aisle when in fact, all she wants is respect.
7. Failing to register the names of your significant other’s friends.
“Who’s Frannie again? She the one with the bangin’ body, or the one who eats her emotions?” This is not an okay way to refer to your significant other’s closest friends. Any decent guy with an average IQ should be able to retain a few new names.
8. Assuming that women don’t exist during major sporting events.
It’s too hard for some avid male sports fans to understand that the world keeps on ticking in spite of whatever goes down in any athletic stadium. It’s not crazy for anyone to request a little extra love or attention whenever they need it, whether or not it’s game night.
9. Expecting a laugh for every fart.
Farting is hilarious. So is burping. But weird bodily noises aren’t always funny, and every adult human needs to appreciate the limits of scatological humor. At some point, it’s time to retire the Sir Farts-A-Lot act.
10. Equating sweet behavior with “gayness.”
When a guy identifies any sweet action or kind gesture as “totally gay,” it’s either a sign of laziness, or ignorance. I assure you there’s nothing homosexual about buying your girlfriend flowers or surprisingly her with a thoughtful gift. Real men know this.
11. Failing to locate the clitoris.
It’s true that female genitalia is a lot trickier to decipher than a straightforward penis-and-balls package. But the way I see it, you can either ask, or Google that shit. Instead of leaning on technology as an excuse to duck responsibility, a man worth dating bothers to do a little research.
12. Refusing to meet the parents.
Meeting someone’s parents is an honor. If a man purports that dining with the people who spawned you is a chore, or implies that summoning the energy to do so is in any way a major sacrifice on his part, he’s an asshole.