Hollywood, Hallmark and wider society tell us it’s a man’s job to spoil his woman. And they’re right! Every woman deserves a man who dotes on her, spoils her, and makes her feel loved each and every day.
But we seem to forget that men also deserve to feel that way. Contrary to popular belief, food and fornication alone will not leave a man feeling truly loved. As much as we hate to admit it, there are times where we need more from our woman than sandwiches and sex.
Here’s 5 incredibly simple ways to do something special for your man to make sure he feels loved and supported.
An extended full body hug
The benefits of a loving embrace are just as relevant to a man as they are a woman. Lowered heart rates and blood pressure, oxytocin release and feelings of calm and relaxation from hugging are not gender specific. There are plenty of times where your man wants – and needs – a full body hug just as much as you.
I don’t mean you wrap your arms around him for a few seconds when you get home. I mean a loving embrace. One where your body intertwines with his and the two of you can lie for hours.
Men like to believe they’re islands. Society tells them they’re pathetic if they can’t handle the pressures of life alone. The reality is far from it, and in the occasional moment where the pressures of life are overwhelming him, a loving hug from his woman is exactly what he needs to replenish his strength.
A surprise, passionate kiss
When was the last time you gave your man a spontaneous, passionate kiss (outside of sex) for no reason at all?
Passionate kisses are often lost with couples once the hormones of the honeymoon period have died down. We save them for sex and special occasions – why?
Next time your man leaves for work or starts making you dinner, surprise him with powerful, long, passionate kiss. Get your tongue involved. It’s the easiest surprise in the world, and you have no idea how much it will make his day.
Plan an awesome date
You love it when a man plans out an entire day or date for you, so why not do the same for him once in a while?
Tell him you’ve got a surprise, but that all he gets to know is to keep the afternoon free. Then take him on a picnic and buy him a ticket to the football. Not only will he feel extraordinarily valued and loved – can you imagine how good the next date he takes you on will be?
The pressures of life can see men carrying an extraordinary amount of tension in their bodies. Unlike women, who often work through problems by communicating with those around them, men are inclined to internalise their issues to try to come up with the answers themselves. This can show up in the tension they hold in their neck, back and shoulders.
Why not help him out with it?
You’ve got nothing to lose by spending 20 minutes one evening giving your man a deep, relaxing massage. Imagine how loved and fulfilled you’d feel if he did it for you.
One of you has to start the trend – so why not make it you!
Figure out his love language – then make a gesture in it
In his book The 5 Love Languages, Gary Chapman coined the famous quote “Love is something you do for someone else – not something you do for yourself”. It sounds obvious, but how many of us apply this wise piece of relationship advice?
Once the honeymoon phase of a relationship is over, we default to communicating our love for someone in the same way we receive it – after all – that’s the way we feel love, so it makes sense to us.
The problem is, not everyone receives love the same way, and a husband can give his wife all the gifts in the world, but if her love language is quality time, the two will still wind up on the rocks.
If you don’t know your partners love language – figure it out! There’s a test available at www.5lovelanguages.com. Once you know it, surprise him by making a big gesture in it. Perhaps he’s verbal, and you make a conscious effort to reinforce how much you appreciate him. Or he might be acts of service, so you spend your evening helping him out with an important work project he’s been stressing over or you sort his lunches for the week so he has one less thing to worry about. By doing this, he’ll feel more love than you ever could have communicated if you’d spoken in your own love language.
Men need to feel loved too. As much as they’ll never admit it, the occasional gesture from you that shows how much you love and support him is exactly the rocket fuel he needs to replenish his energy and jump back into the world as your hero.