11 Of The Biggest Turn-Offs For Women (According To Women)


1. Too much too soon.

“I love knowing when a guy’s into me, and when it’s clear and there’s no confusion about whether we’re ‘talking’ or ‘dating’ or ‘together’ or whatever the hell label we use today. But what honestly turns me off more than anything is when a guy goes from 0 to 100 reallll quick.

If we’re just starting to get to know each other, you shouldn’t be showing up at my apartment, trying to stay the night every single night. If you hardly know me and we aren’t even close to being boyfriend/girlfriend, you shouldn’t be telling your friends that we are. And the biggest one: if we just met YOU SHOULD NOT BE MENTIONING ANYTHING RELATED TO LOVE. That’s actually straight creepy. Take it slow, guys. Too much too soon is a no-no.”

— Abbie, 26

2. Talking without listening.

“There’s nothing worse than going on a date with or dating a man who doesn’t listen. Feeling ignored or feeling like what you say isn’t important, especially early on, is a HUGE turnoff. I want to feel like the man I’m with actually gives a sh*t about what I have to say, otherwise I’d just talk to my dog. Haha.”

— Quincey, 21

3. Gross bodily functions before we’re comfortable.

“I have no problem with burping, farting, nose-blowing, whatever. It’s normal and we all do it. But if it’s our first date and you’re belching across the table? Nope. Not into it.”

— Eileen, 31

4. Disrespect in any way, shape, or form.

“This is my non-negotiable: disrespect. You might think it’s funny to make a sexist comment about girls not knowing how to workout at the gym. You might think it’s hilarious to poke fun at our waiter for tripping on the rug. News flash! It’s not.

Honestly, I don’t care what it is, if you disrespect anyone, or disrespect me, you’re cut off. That’s a huge turnoff for me, and plus, it makes you look like a total a**hole.”

— Callie, 27

5. Acting like a know-it-all.

“We get it. You know your sh*t. But you don’t know everything, so don’t sit there and try to impress us by acting like you do.”

— Ren, 25

6. Trying to sleep with me on the first night.

“Unless this is a pre-established hookup, one-night-stand, or Tinder date, then it really turns me off when a guy tries to sleep with me right away. I’m pretty clear about my intentions from the get-go, and I tell guys that I’m not into the whole ‘hit it and quit it’ thing…so I feel like it’s pretty reasonable to get mad when you try to get with me after I just said I don’t want to do that. TURN OFF.”

— Kylie, 29

7. Expecting me to pay on the first date.

“Call me whatever the hell you want—bitch, snob, cheap I don’t care, but if I’m on a first date with a guy and he makes me pay? Done. It’s a first date and as a man you’re supposed to. Sorry not sorry.”

— Tamara, 26

8. Laziness.

“My total turn-off is laziness. Not having any initiative, not being interested in anything, no passion. Those are all just things that make me instantly un-attracted to a guy.”

— Jamie, 40

9. Making it the ‘you’ show.

“Nothing is worse than being with a dude who’s too self-absorbed to even notice you exist.”

— Jenn, 19

10. Sending mixed signals.

“I hate when guys are hot and cold. One day we’re up talking all night and the next you don’t text me back? Not only is that annoying, but it’s a total turn-off. Either you’re in or you’re out.”

— Krysti, 24

11. Not following through.

“One of the biggest turn-offs for me is a guy that lacks effort. If he says he’ll call me and then doesn’t, or says he’ll pick me up at 8PM and comes thirty minutes late, I’m instantly less attracted to him. Especially when you’re first getting to know someone, I really think it’s so important to follow through with what you say. Guys that don’t, or guys that act indifferent just really turn me off.”

— Renee, 28 Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

Keep up with Marisa on Instagram, Twitter, Amazon and marisadonnelly.com

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