You Must Love Her Like She’s Letting You Go

Seth Doyle
Seth Doyle

In the beginning, it was easy. She was the center of your attention, the brightest star in your sky. You wanted to shine just for her. You wanted to be her everything, and you’d do just about anything to see that smile.

You loved her like you didn’t yet have her, because you didn’t.

You wanted her, would die for her, spent all your time and energy chasing her. Because she was not quite yours. And you so desperately wanted her to be. It felt like your entire existence was dependent on whether or not she would one day become yours.

And then, suddenly, she was.

And it was even easier to love her. The days felt endless and beautiful; your hearts melted into one with every embrace, every touch, every kiss. You loved her effortlessly, because things were easy.

You loved her like she was yours to keep, because she was.

But love, like anything, is not always that simple.

In time, you began to push each other’s buttons. You stopped seeing eye-to-eye and started raising your voices instead of listening. You fought, hard. You both chased selfish dreams instead of each other and it became difficult to put each other first.

It was no one’s fault in particular, but things got hard. Your connection started to feel hollow, empty, and lost. And you started to love a little less, and distance a little more.

But here’s the thing about love, it won’t fade if you don’t let it.

Even if the pain is there, etched onto the surface of your hearts. Even if your eyes are tired from crying, or your body is exhausted from the constant tension. Even if you are a thousand miles apart in thoughts and dreams—it is never too late to give love all you have, to try to salvage the broken pieces and make them whole again.

You must love her like she’s letting you go.

Put aside your own inhibitions and lean into her fully, deeply. Stop fearing whether or not things will work. Stop trying to be right. Stop trying to pass the blame between her and you, and instead, go back to how it was when she was all you needed.

You must love her like she’s leaving.

Chase after her with words, with actions, with all the beautiful things you did in the beginning of your relationship and have forgotten since then. Love her in all the ways you would love her if she was already gone—celebrating memories, commemorating moments.

Pretend she’s already out the door. Pretend she’s already moved on and happy with someone else. Pretend that getting her back is the most important thing in your life and fight for her like she’s already gone.

Write her name in the sky with your love. Take her hand and hold it as if it’s the most precious thing you’ve ever held between your fingertips, as if you can’t bear to ever let it go.

Tell her you love her a million times over, but not just with words. With your eyes. With your soul. Look at her like you’ve never looked at anyone before. Look at her so deeply and honestly and passionately that she’s forced to break her gaze because she’s scared at how pure your heart is.

Love her like she’s letting you go so she won’t feel like she has to.

Remind her how it feels to be loved by you, how it feels to be held in your arms or kissed by your lips. Love her like she’s the best thing that’s ever happened to you. Love her like you promised forever, and you meant it.

Love her like she’s leaving you and she won’t.

She won’t want to run, won’t want to give up, won’t want anyone but you. Love her so deeply and she will return that love to you. She will put you first. She will let her fears fade into the wind. She will give you her with no regrets or hesitations.

Love her fiercely, and she will love you fiercely in return. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

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