It’s Okay If You Don’t Have All The Answers (You’re Not Supposed To)


Life isn’t supposed to be easy. You don’t reach a certain age, a certain social status, a certain position in your career, and suddenly have all the answers. There isn’t a secret potion, a lucky token, or even a prayer that will change the course of your life with a snap of your fingers.

But you can find comfort in this: You’re not alone.

No one has all the answers. No one knows what they’re doing, and even if they do in the temporary, in the now, they can’t possibly know this forever.

There are so many unknowns in this world, so much change, so many situations and events to come. These moments will propel us forward and they will drag us backwards. They will send us in hundreds of different directions that it’s nearly impossible to know where we’re headed or where we’ll end up.

But even in that frustration, not knowing is part of the beautiful journey of life.

We don’t have all the answers because we can’t possibly know all the answers. And this is good.

You’re not supposed to know everything.

If you knew everything, then you wouldn’t feel butterflies at lover’s first kiss, you wouldn’t be surprised by the joyful laughter of a friend who asks you to be in her wedding, you wouldn’t share a celebratory mother-daughter hug at the news of a benign tumor.

Life would be methodical and boring; it wouldn’t have the ups and downs, the excitement at the little things, and the wonder at pushing through hard times.

It wouldn’t make us cry, wouldn’t make us laugh, wouldn’t mold and shape us into powerful and confident human beings.

It wouldn’t be the life we’ve carved for ourselves, the life we claim as ours and own with pride through both good and bad.

You’re not supposed to have a map of your life. You’re not supposed to know how things will begin or where they will end. You’re not supposed to know who you’ll fall in love with, at least not right away. And you’re not supposed to have the answers to those questions looming in the back of your brain.

We all go through this—the indecision, the fear, the anxiety, the loneliness. But this will pass. You will not live in this scared place forever. You will understand some of the ways of the world and you will discover some of the answers.

Life will change and life will get better.

But don’t beat yourself up because you aren’t sure where you’re headed, aren’t sure what to do, or even aren’t sure who you are.

We’re all searching, all learning, all discovering who and where and what we’re meant to be.

So please know that you’re not wrong for feeling clueless, for feeling like you don’t have it all figured out—that’s not a reality, no matter how hard you try. Life doesn’t work that way.

Life is supposed to be challenging, confusing, heartbreaking, and breathtaking. It’s supposed to be a string of lessons and memories, supposed to be a journey. It’s supposed to be a ride that we jump into, pull the seatbelts over our chests, grip the handles tightly through the turns and twists, and then learn to let go and throw our hands up during the exhilarating loops and drops. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

Marisa is a writer, poet, & editor. She is the author of Somewhere On A Highway, a poetry collection on self-discovery, growth, love, loss and the challenges of becoming.

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