1. We know a lot about each other’s private parts, from hearing about and seeing them quite often.
2. When on the dance floor, if her expression indicates that she isn’t into the guy trying to dance with her, it is your duty to casually grab her wrist and pull her over to dance with you.
3. When our friends don’t like someone, we’re liable to share that disdain as well. However, when said friend is kind of a hater, we can’t dislike EVERYONE as well. Your ex-boyfriends new girl? That’s doable. Your cousin’s girlfriend’s best friend’s ex’s new girlfriend? Not so much.
4. If a dude talks shit about another girl, she is almost always going to relay that info back. Even if they’re not friends, some girls get a kick out of sharing the hurtful words with you.
5. When friends aren’t thinking clearly, whether it be a result of alcohol or heartbreak, it becomes your responsibility to guide her cloudy judgment to clearer pastures.
6. For those seeking a grown woman’s time: “Get ready, we’re going to ________” is so, so much better than “Want to chill or something? I don’t know, we can do whatever.”
7. There are discreet, necessary ways of letting other ladies know when something is wrong with her appearance. Whether it’s lipstick on the teeth or a boob on the brink of areola exposure, we’ve got to inconspicuously inform, or even subtly fix it for them.
8. If you have sex with a woman, expect her friends to know in great detail how it went. You might as well be a heavily scrutinized athlete because your performance will be discussed. And while it may not be on SportsCenter, five girls sitting around trading battle stories can be pretty revealing.
9. If you meet up with a woman and her friend is there, her presence was definitely requested. You aren’t being cock-blocked; in fact, the intent here is to eliminate any thoughts of extracurricular activity.
10. Upon request, sharing tampons with strangers is a norm.
11. For boyfriends, we are well aware of when another girl is hitting on you whether you’re playing stupid about not knowing, or genuinely unaware of it. We have flirtation radar and you must take our annoyed word for it.
12. The quickest way to make a completely sane woman crazy is to call her crazy. Also, the phrases relax, calm down and chill out tend to have very opposite effect.
13. If you aggravate a woman, don’t try to blame it on her period. Your stupidity would be annoying regardless of if we’re on menstruation or not, so please eliminate that obnoxious notion from your thought process.
14. There used to be the option of two girls telling a pesky guy that they were lesbians, but apparently stupidity has evolved. Now, persistently pesky guy thinks it’s cute to request you let him join in, which is beyond annoying for actual lesbians and fake lesbians alike.
15. If any fact about you is online, she can find it if she so desires. Women are natural detectives, especially with the magnifying glass that is the internet.
16. A lot of us check to see a crush’s last name fits with our first name. Whatever, it’s a thing many of us do. It’s not as creepy as it sounds on paper, unless you find the pile of sheets with Mandy Gosling written all over them.
17. Women aren’t nice to each other and that’s the reason having dude-friends is so popular. How often do you hear girls say they just get along better with guys? It helps to not be catty to one another, especially when your significant other is acting up and you need someone who understands exactly how you’re feeling.
18. When we are mean about other girls, if we’re being completely honest, a lot of the time it has to do with our own insecurities. However, sometimes we’re just keeping it real.
19. If you’re not the fattest person in the vicinity, please refrain from commenting on being fat.
20. You don’t post photos to social networks and tag friends who are clearly not looking particularly great. Even if you look good, do some cropping and use it for yourself, minus their unflattering look.
21. Hooking up with a girls ex-boyfriend/girlfriend is the shittiest thing you can do and not only violates girl code, but decent human-being code as well.