This Is How You Must Promise To Love Me

I’m not always an easy person to love and fight for. I’m emotional, guarded, passive aggressive, analytical, irrational and insecure. I create problems where they never existed, am slow to trust, jump to the worst conclusions, and often feel overcome with a fear of being left. Worse yet, I often believe that I might actually deserve to be left.

But damn it if I don’t love with every last inch of my heart and soul. I love deeply, completely, and in ways that few people deserve to experience. I give away pieces of myself in abundance, pour my heart into the hands of those I love, try my best to be a person who doesn’t break hearts, and constantly look for ways to improve myself enough to make the people around me feel special and cared for.

I’m a lover, and I’m a fighter. But I’m far from perfect. I have scars that have ruined me, stories that have changed me, and beliefs that have made me question everyone and everything.

It takes a special and patient kind of person to love me. But when they do, I love them back.

I honor their scars, embrace who they are, prioritize them as they deserve to be prioritized, and grow with them like flowers in a garden.

It’s what I do. It’s what I’ll always do.

All or nothing. 100 percent. Win or lose.

If you want to love me, you must love me slowly.

I don’t like moving too fast. If I do, I’ll get overwhelmed. I’ll give and expect too much, too soon. I’ll drown. So take your time with me. Notice the things that make me tick, make me hesitate, make me laugh, make me smile. Pay attention when my eyes light up. Memorize the little things I tell you about myself. Give me plenty of space, and let me decide when we should move forward or take things to the next level. I’m not afraid to make some moves of my own, so sit back, relax, and let me make them when I’m ready.

If you want to love me, you must love me carefully.

I’m fragile and wear my heart on my sleeve. I’m cautious and timid, and the slightest thing has the power to hurt me. Be mindful and respectful of my sensitivity. Think about what you say or do before you say or do it, and strive to love me with intention and understanding. I have no more room in my heart for carelessness or disregard.

If you want to love me, you must love me patiently.

You must peel back each and every layer of who I am and know that I am often slow to open up or give myself away. Few have been up to the challenge of taking their time and getting to know who I truly am. There is no instant gratification with me in the beginning. Learning to love me takes time and work, but it will be one of the most rewarding things you ever decide to do in the end.

If you want to love me, you must love me gently.

Carefully consider your words and actions with me, for I tend to react a bit strongly at times. And when it comes to physical contact, communicate and let me make moves before you do. You’ll very quickly catch on to what I like and what I don’t.

If you want to love me, you must love me deeply.

I may seem hesitant at first, but I’m all or nothing when it comes to love. If I choose to love you, I will love you with every fiber of my being. I will memorize you. I will prioritize you. I will accept you. I will want to make you happy. I will want the best for you. If you can’t reciprocate, at least to a reasonable extent, I will eventually leave without a single glance over my shoulder. My heart is a rare and precious thing that only a select few can handle and adequately care for.

If you want to love me, you must love me honestly.

A few white lies and instances of stretching the truth are inevitable and forgivable, but blatant dishonesty or deception is not. And if you tell me you love me, I hope to God you truly mean it. Because love is a pretty strong word.

If you want to love me, you must love me unconditionally.

And I’ll be damned if I’ll settle for less than a person who loves me just the same.