If you were a different you and I was a different me…If we lived in a completely different reality…If we didn’t have drastically different lives, backgrounds, traits, goals and priorities…If we didn’t care how it would look or what people would think…If I wasn’t absent from your mind when you lay your head down to rest…If the odds and ends between us weren’t so colossal…If I looked at you with wide-eyed admiration because you were like a best friend rather than someone I never had but always needed…
Maybe we could be something.
Maybe I’d introduce you to my family and not care what they thought about your frank personality or the color of your skin. Maybe I’d kiss you in public. Maybe we’d laugh together until we could barely breathe. Maybe I’d show you the inside of my ravaged heart, and maybe you’d tell me about the things you keep hidden. Maybe you’d light up every room you walked into. Maybe you’d take me under your wing. Maybe you’d hold me when the world felt heavy and kick my ass when I wasn’t being the absolute brightest version of myself. Maybe you’d intercept me in hallways and make me dance or wrestle with you. Maybe we’d have fun doing nothing and anything together. Maybe you’d smile that brilliant smile at me until I blush and look away, knowing that I will every single time. Maybe you’d tell me how much you loved my fiery red hair and the way I work harder just to impress you. Maybe you’d make me laugh at my pain and dance circles around my anxiety. Maybe you’d stubbornly fight with me until your point was proven and my tail was between my legs, but later admit that you were being an asshole. Maybe you’d tell me about your past and paint a picture of your future. Maybe you’d carry me to bed when I fell asleep on your couch and poke me in the ribs when I fell asleep in your car.
You’d be a good person with a good heart and never hesitate to say something to make my day just a little bit better than it was before.
We’d be an odd and unlikely pair, but I bet everyone would root for us. We’d probably fall apart, but I bet I’d never regret you.
But you’re you, and I’m me. We don’t live in a different reality. We don’t live amongst the chaos and bizarre fantasies in my head.
So given that, I’m more than content with having a big, stupid, secret crush on you. Maybe someday I’ll let it slip to the wrong person. Maybe someday, before you go off to resume your life and utilize your potential elsewhere, you will find out – and just smile at me like I’m the most precious and naive thing in the world.