One of the most amazing people that you can encounter in life is your best friend. This is the person you can share your most special moments with; the person that knows you for all of your strengths and accepts you for your weakness; the person that will be the most sincere in congratulating you during your triumphs and the best shoulder to lean on during the lowest points of your life. There is a reason why this person is your best friend and there is a reason why this person is so important to you. Sometimes a best friend could even become more than that. In my case, a best friend can easily be someone you could fall for and truly love but unfortunately this could be one of the moments where you could lose them the most. I would just like to share these stages of liking a best friend because it was honestly one of the most confusing and mind-numbing things to think about especially during those nights where you can’t sleep. I’m pretty sure that a lot of people have struggled with this kind of situation and hope that those reading this can relate and get a grasp of what is going on in their heads.
Let’s start off with teasing!
This, for me, is probably one of the biggest reasons why I started liking my best friend. When you’re best friends with someone, you guys are obviously very close to one another. You share a connection with that person that not many get to have. Most probably you guys hang out a lot and are always seen together. The part that makes teasing happen is when you guys surround yourselves with the same circle of friends and within that circle of friends, you guys are the closest. So, what would your close circle of friends like to do to have a little fun with your “best-friendship”? They will tease the heck out of you. Constantly these friends would be saying things like “you guys are so cute together” or “why don’t you guys just start dating already?”. Of course I just didn’t mind it whenever they’d do that because you’d have to agree, you guys are pretty cute together and just by saying that alone, you move on to the next stage of liking your best friend.
2. Seeing the possibilities
There comes a point in time where that teasing will start making you think. You begin to acknowledge the fact that you guys could actually be together someday. And why not? I mean, you guys really enjoy each other’s company and there can’t possibly be that many dull moments together anyway. You guys have known each other for quite some time now and there could be countless memories shared between the two of you. Since you guys are already so close to begin with and know all the perfections and imperfections the person has, you wouldn’t really see a reason why it wouldn’t work out between the two of you. But there’s no need to overthink things because this is just your best friend and nothing more. Whenever that thought reappears, you could just simply tell yourself repeatedly “Just my best friend, just my best friend”. But as soon as you start to see this person as more than just a friend, you start making things a little bit more complicated.
3. Wishful thinking
The thoughts of being with your best friend start to take on a bit more of reality in your mind. This could happen even if you were in a relationship with someone but when you’re both single, these kinds of thoughts become more apparent and occur more frequently. The difficult thing is that you can’t just stop yourself from feeling the way you do. It’s uncontrollable and the more you space out in the middle of class or during a long drive or walk, you just end up finding this person in your mind without even realizing it. For me, I started to picture myself asking her out on a date or how happy we would be if we did end up together. I even thought of how cute our story would be to our friends because many people believe that being in a relationship with your best friend is one of the most solid ones you could have. Wishful thinking is another way of saying that you are hoping to end up with your best friend.
4. Putting meaning into everything
Our minds can really complicate our lives when we overthink about everything. Overthinking corrupts your thoughts and can even give you problems that you once never had. Putting meaning into everything that happens between you and your best friend can cause so much confusion and the problem is that this is a product of your own doing. Too much thinking has led you to think and wonder if your best friend feels the same way about you or is going through the same thing you’re going through. Like that one time where you both got drunk and ended up doing something that you otherwise wouldn’t normally do, like be all extra sweet to each other, or hold hands or something and then pretend afterwards that nothing happened. You guys will probably avoid talking about it because it could be awkward afterwards so you just reject the thought of it ever happening. But being you, the person that likes your best friend, will have a difficult time not putting meaning into those kinds of things. You’d try talking to your friends about it in order to try and understand “WHATEVER THAT WAS” but even talking about it would just lead to you hoping more, and expect, and put you even deeper into the situation than you were before.
5. Too many feels moments
Every love song begins to remind you of your best friend. Every chick flick like Crazy Stupid Love or Just Friends that you watch (ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU WATCH IT WITH HER) will make you just stop for a second and have an idea just cross your mind with a sign saying “You know, you guys could have something like this”. Then you’re just sitting there, thinking to yourself “Oh my goodness what is going on?????”. You put yourself in the shoes of every friendzoned individual; every nice guy or good girl that has no idea what’s going on in the head of their best friend. You’re just left so helpless in your emotions it starts to become a struggle acting normal. When this happened, I was constantly thinking about every action and decision I made because of course, I wanted her to like me back or show interest in me. When you have one of those sentimental talks with your bros or girlfriends, they’d either tell you that your best friend has to like you or that maybe she just really wants to stay best friends. Either way, these epiphanies of great joy or sadness will either give you something to hold on to or a reason to avoid complicating your friendship and that’s where it all comes down to the most important decision making process when it comes to having feelings for your best friend.
6. Taking the risk?
Is it really worth taking the risk? This something that you really need to ask yourself and give yourself enough time to think about because this is no ordinary person we’re dealing with. This is your best friend, your better half, your partner in crime. Is it really worth risking the strong and unique bond that you guys have just in order to see what lies beyond the “What if’s” that are going on in your head? What if it doesn’t work out? What if we lose the friendship that we have worked so hard to build? But what if it does work out and we actually end up really happy together? What if my instincts aren’t wrong and this person actually is the one for me. I know this sounds really cliché, but it actually does happen to a lot of us. Because we love this person so much, whether as a best friend or more, we see them in their perfection and don’t care about what they lack or what makes them insecure because we accept them whole-heartedly for who they are and don’t think that they need to change in order for them to become any more special. Going back to taking the risk, this is the time where all the stages came back to me which gave me the inability to fall asleep. This made it increasingly difficult to focus on anything else so I just had to get it over with and weigh the pros and cons. Everything I held on to, the fact that she was my best friend, the exclusive insights that my friends would give me, all the wishful thinking that I could conjure in my head, all those sweet and intimate moments that she never does with her other friends, and many other factors were at war with everything that made me hesitant and hold back like the fact that it could end up ruining the friendship, or that it would cause some burden or drama that we both would definitely want to avoid. But of course, it’s always yours to decide which path to take.
7. The Choice
This is it. The moment that decides where your friendship goes. Are you going to make your move and hope she feels the same way? Or are you going to stop yourself from the possibility of messing up the friendship and just let her go? Whatever your decision may be, always remember that it doesn’t matter if you guys end up together or not. If we go back to what I said earlier, about the reason why this person is your best friend, it is because this person just makes your life so much better just by being a part of it. You may not be certain of the outcome of your decision but the only thing you can be sure of is that your best friend is worth having around. I love my best friend, and if ever she does find a guy, I’ll be happy for her and I will always protect her just like how she protects me too. If you choose not to make your move just keep in mind that the both of you are in a really good place. Don’t rush into it and make any drastic decisions without proper thought because if this person really is worth it, then they’re worth the wait. Nothing great ever comes easily. This is just one of the things that make life so beautiful. Even if you feel so terrified and helpless at times, at least you know that you are living. Never be afraid to take chances for fear will always be an obstacle to happiness. There are so many things to experience in life, most of which we can’t control, but the best thing to do is to learn from every experience and become wiser. Even if it doesn’t work out, at least you know you tried and you can learn from it, and to quote the great John Mayer “I have to thank the wrongs that led me to a love so strong”.