1. All I know was that it tasted better than Brussels sprouts.
“I tried my best, but he kinda just wanted to fuck my mouth like the do it in porn. That couldn’t really happen because I had a hard time with my teeth. I wasn’t that good, so I just told him masturbate into my mouth. He came, and I swallowed. I believe the only reason I swallowed because I had Brussels sprouts early that day that I didn’t like. So in the moment, the cum didn’t taste bad. I don’t remember the taste of it though, all I know was that it tasted better than Brussels sprouts.”
2. I was next to a fish tank and I felt so judged by all of the fish.
“Awkward. I had no idea how to keep my teeth from touching it. I was next to a fish tank and I felt so judged by all of the fish. ”
3. He groaned a lot and said my name in a dying-battery type of voice.
“We were both 14. We hid in the bushes somewhere. He was rock hard which scared me, and dribbled into my mouth for what felt like forever. He groaned a lot and said my name in a dying-battery type of voice. ”
4. I was like licking the inner soft spot of someone’s sweaty arm.
“Common sense tells you dicks should taste like skin…because they’re covered in skin. Sweaty skin. But that was still a surprise. I was like licking the inner soft spot of someone’s sweaty arm.”
5. Blech it’s warm, slimy, and salty. Mostly slimy.
“Oh, my god I’m about to put a dick in my mouth! Am I doing this right? God, I hope this is right. Should I actually SUCK?! Yeah, lick right there, that’s the ‘sensitive’ part…damn this is tiring. My mouth hurts. What do I do when he cums? What if I gag/puke? Does he like this? Oh no. He’s gonna cum, that’s what you wanted, right dummy? Blech it’s warm, slimy, and salty. Mostly slimy. Try to swallow. Nope. Just let it coolly ooze out of your mouth on his dick. That’ll work. He’s found you out! Apologize. Grab towel and wipe off mouth. Cuddle. Fall asleep.”
6. Turns out, we were right in front of a window and everybody saw.
“It was my 22nd birthday and I had gotten in a huge fight with my former best friend, who happened to be at the same bar we were at celebrating my birthday. I was upset so I just poured shots down my throat (ended up with over a $200 bar tab). Was dancing with a guy and got really turned on so I told him I wanted to go down on him. We went out to the patio area where I thought was secluded and pulled down his pants and I started to give him head. I was drunk so I don’t remember anything but him moaning a lot, and then somebody came out onto the patio to stop us. Turns out, we were right in front of a window and everybody saw. I started crying and my friends got me home. Almost four years later and I STILL have not lived this down.”
7. I puked all over him. Covered his dick, balls, pants, underwear, couch, and floor with my breakfast.
“This is the most embarrassing thing I’ve ever experienced. I didn’t try giving a BJ for a long time afterwards.
I was 16. I been crushing on a neighbor guy for months. He was your typical teenage bad boy. He asked me to skip school one morning and go over to his place. He’d never given me the time of day before. I go over around 8:30. He’s not wasting any time. He takes me straight to the couch and we start making out. He unzips his pants and kinda pushes my head down. I was aiming to please so I didn’t resist. I’m doing my best not to scratch his dick with my teeth, and he starts pushing on the back of my head. I gagged a little. He did it again, I gagged again. I asked him to please stop pushing on my head because it was making me gag. Turns out this guy was a fucking ass hole. He did it again, harder. I puked all over him. Covered his dick, balls, pants, underwear, couch, and floor with my breakfast. He yells ‘What the fuck!?’ We both jump up, he’s disgusted, I’m utterly mortified. He runs to the sink, I’m frantically looking around for a towel or something. He turns to me, puke covered pants around his knees, dick still dripping chunks and tells me to just leave. I ran home crying. Never talked to that fucking asshole again.”
8. I more or less chewed on his dick until he came.
“First blowjob I ever gave was hands-down the worst blowjob ever in the history of blowjobs. It was my best friend’s brother. My best friend was super psycho protective over her brothers, so I was terrified she was going to wake up and come beat me up the entire time I had this dick in my mouth. Literally had no idea how to go about the deed, so coupled with my bone-gripping terror, I more or less chewed on his dick until he came. Not sucking, or licking, but gentle gnawing with my panicked eyes glued on the door. I had never seen a dick in real life before, only pictures. He was Native American, so it freaked me the fuck out when his pubes were stick straight instead of curly. There I am, a terrified virgin gnawing away at this alien member until he came and I literally ran out of the room and didn’t talk to him for almost a month. Flash forward years later. Dude tracks me down on Facebook, and starts randomly sending me videos of him jacking off, telling me he’s never gotten the feel of my teeth out of his head, and no blowjob will ever be as good. Fucking weirdo.”
9. I have never been more aware of my teeth than I was at that moment.
“I have never been more aware of my teeth than I was at that moment. I’d had it hyped up in my mind so much that you keep your teeth far, far away from the peen or it will be absolute agony that I was convinced he’d be better off sticking his dick into a spool of barbed wire.
Turns out, unless you’re straight-up chomping away at it, it’s pretty easy to keep them out of the way.”
10. You could probably make a Rocky-type montage of my blow job training as a dorky teenager with acne and braces.
“Oh man, I did so much research beforehand ha-ha. I Yahoo’d it, and downloaded porn so I could study up. I practiced shoving my toothbrush down my throat, for deep throat practice. I read that it’s hard on your jaw, so I chewed lots of gum to train my face muscles. I think I took notes and everything. You could probably make a Rocky-type montage of my blow job training as a dorky teenager with acne and braces.
When it came to the deed, I was so nervous and I felt like I was taking an exam, and literally switched from technique to technique: mint in mouth, fizzy water, warm tea. Then sucking, swirling the head, blowing on tip, to name just a few. Deep throat, but only once lol. I think I just confused the poor guy’s penis, but he came anyway, because he was also a super inexperienced teenager.”
11. When I started humming my boyfriend asked what the fuck I was doing.
“Terrifying, I had no clue what I was doing. The family computer was in the living room so any Googling was risky. I got my tips from Cosmo. When I started humming my boyfriend asked what the fuck I was doing.”
12. I felt pretty powerful looking into his eyes and hearing him softly moan every now and then.
“He was guiding me through everything so that was helpful. ‘Right there…just like that. All the way up and all the way down. Try not to use your teeth. Wanna try using 2 hands?’ me: ‘my mouth is getting kinda tired’ him: ‘You can just spit on it and stroke it for a while with your hands—I’ll warn you when I’m getting close.’
But during it I felt pretty powerful looking into his eyes and hearing him softly moan every now and then—knowing that I was the one causing his pleasure.”
13. Not as bad as I thought.
“‘Ok… Here we go…I hope I’m not horrible at it. Ok… Hmmm this isn’t too bad, ok, apply some of the things you’ve seen in porn and some advice you’ve gotten from Cosmo. This doesn’t taste like anything… Good! No teeth! No teeth! Ok… Alright, he’s enjoying it… I think… Ok good…he’s moaning, good sign. God…ah! WTH? Oh, he came. Oh ok… Good. Hmmm cum doesn’t really taste like anything. Consistency is kind of gross. Not as bad as I thought. Interesting.’
That was pretty much it.”
14. ‘Oops, I’ve thrown up…’
“‘Holy shit, what am I doing?’
‘Whoa, this is awesome!’
‘I love cock!’
‘I’m-a deep-throat this thang!’
‘Oops, I’ve thrown up…’”
15. I just kept thinking, WTF am I doing?
“Pretty awkward. I just kept thinking, WTF am I doing? I feel dumb. Does he like this? Well he for sure did and came all over my shirt as we were about to go to a pool party. I tried so hard to get it off but I was a rookie and used hot water! Now I love doing it. It’s probably my favorite thing to do. I don’t even need reciprocation. 10/10 my boyfriend is a happy man.”
15. He came while laughing and kept laughing for a good five minutes after.
“For me, it was an experience of ‘Meh? Meh.’ That’s pretty much how I still feel about it.
For him, I guess it was either the best or the worst thing he had experienced. He came while laughing and kept laughing for a good five minutes after while I felt stupid and embarrassed and thought ‘Welp, no porno or Hollywood movie ever told me about this part’.’ I didn’t dare ask him if it was laughably good or laughably bad and to this day, 10 years later, I still have no idea if he and his friends knows me as the terribly bad or terribly good blowjob girl.”
16. He kept telling me to think of it like Go-Gurt.
“It was awkward AF. I remember feeling half grossed out and half turned on. He kept telling me to think of it like Go-Gurt. I remember my jaw was hurting and so were my knees and the bastard didn’t even give me a courtesy warning when he was going to cum. I swallowed most of it but some of it came out. He said he thought it would be better if he didn’t warn me…even though he knew it was my first time!”
17. I didn’t expect him to cum that fast.
“We were watching his favorite movie and I didn’t have the heart to tell him I wanted to make out…so I started getting fidgety and thinking I totally could give a blow job. I could touch the back of my throat and not gag. So I started playing with him, trying to be sly and the conversation was like,
Him: w-what are you doing?
Me: do you trust me?
Him: of course I do. (Bright red face)
Me: then keep watching your movie
And it kinda happened. I had no clue what I was doing really, I mean, I read some articles because I wanted to know do’s and don’ts. But he definitely didn’t expect it… and I didn’t expect him to cum that fast. But I swallowed. It didn’t taste as bad as I thought it would. Just made me really thirsty.
We’re still together today.”
18. I could hardly get it in my mouth, and when I could it was practically prying my jaws apart.
“First of all, this was the first time I had seen someone of the opposite sex naked. So this was also this first time I had seen a penis in real life that didn’t belong to some kid whose diaper I was changing. Being 19 this wasn’t only mildly embarrassing, but also strange because we were in my dorm room and the girls that lived next to me were in their room making a bunch of racket.
So we get started. Lucky me they were huge, I could already see the outline in their briefs, problem was I have a small mouth. (Being a dork) I had read something off handed on a Cosmo magazine about ‘how to give the best head’ and tried to keep that in mind? Something about using an 8 count?
Underwear comes off and the thing is right in front of my face, But I could hardly get it in my mouth, and when I could it was practically prying my jaws apart. I could only go about 1/5 of the way down, it was insane…
Ended up just licking them really awkwardly, and using my hands mostly. At the end of it they just told me ‘it was okay, I guess.’”
19. It was like playing with a meat-rod joystick that took up most of the space in my mouth.
“It happened for the first time about 7 months ago. I had like no experience doing ANYTHING sexual at all, so I figured a BJ would be the simplest option for me. We were both on the couch and I started off with a HJ. The feeling of it was so foreign, yet so intriguing at the same time. The warmth of his dick, the way it pulsates…as much as I had fun playing with it, I quickly realized that this wasn’t going to mean much in the long run since I really had no idea what I was doing. I couldn’t tell which part of the dick felt better to touch or rub, it looked all the same to me besides the obvious head and shaft parts. The only thing going for me at this point was a few tips I read about on reddit prior to this.
After a few minutes of that, I laid down on my stomach and took his dick into my mouth. It was like playing with a meat-rod joystick that took up most of the space in my mouth. There wasn’t a taste of it that stood out to me, it was more like texture of the dick and the thickness of it. The head seemed very smooth to me, the underneath of the head suddenly more rigid, and the shaft feeling like it was just THICK. I recall running my tongue around his head, wondering how much he was getting from this. I didn’t go very far down on him, I was focusing only on the head and upper shaft. My mouth is pretty small, so it wasn’t going to take in a lot during this first encounter. The further I shoved it in, the more I felt like I was going to gag. I was pretty good with making sure he didn’t hit my teeth, but I probably still sucked (in a bad way) at it because I went on for 15-20 minutes before he pried me off. Granted his sister had woken up and was walking around the house but that was the end of it for a while. The next day my mouth was sore, my throat hurt (despite not going in that far), and I felt like I was SURE I got some kind of STD. Within a week, it went away but I was scared for a while.
I honestly felt like I fucked up the whole experience and he would never try again with me. To my surprise, he still kept on visiting me and tried again with me like after a month or so (when we were finally alone again). I think my third time I finally got him to cum after 10 minutes. I was also going MUCH further down on him (to a point that it hits my tonsils now) and I used way more tongue as I was pulling him into my mouth. When he finally came, I took it all in and swallowed. It was like a sort of mucus to me in both feeling and taste, but I didn’t mind. I felt finally rewarded after failing a few times. I had my hand at the very base of dick and loved the feeling as it shook intensely from his orgasm.
I still feel kinda clueless since the two of us don’t communicate well, but given that he’s always so close to me, he seems to be enjoying it. Hell, I’ve caught him making quick glances at his stiffy as he’s sitting next to me on the couch, as if he’s anticipating what I’m going to do next.”
20. I was constantly worrying about sucking too hard/not hard enough/accidental teeth.
“Constantly worrying about sucking too hard/not hard enough/accidental teeth, plus the most awkward situation of my mouth being busy but not my brain. So I’m sitting there with this weird fleshy thing in my mouth like ‘…I can’t see anything but pubes…he’s not doing anything, am I doing this right?…this smells weird.’”
21. He started pushing my head down, which messed up my rhythm a little, but I get off on being controlled during sex so it was kind of hot.
“I was almost twenty and he was my first boyfriend. He goes to an extremely conservative Christian college that does not allow women to be in the men’s dorms overnight, so we were sleeping in the backseat of my car in a deserted corner of the parking lot. We’d had sex before, but never oral. As horny as we were that night, we knew from experience that trying to bang in my back seat would be difficult, cramped, exhausting, and likely to get us caught. (The story of how I lost my virginity.) But a blowjob we could get away with. I volunteered, but warned him that I was clueless and would need help.
He guided me through it very kindly and helpfully, giving me pointers on how to lick and suck the way he particularly liked it. He has an ex that we was with for a long time and was sexually active with, which normally bothers me a little, but that night it was helpful because he was able to be specific on how to angle his dick into the side of my mouth so I could deep-throat without choking or biting too hard. He said it was fine if it scraped against my molars a little bit.
He gave all this advice in a low, gentle voice and stroked my hair. It was actually really nice. Once I’d gotten the hang of it, he started pushing my head down, which messed up my rhythm a little, but I get off on being controlled during sex so it was kind of hot. I still ask him to do that sometimes. When he came, I only knew because he warned me—I didn’t realize that the taste in my mouth was cum until after I swallowed. He didn’t expect that. I gave him a weird look and asked him what the hell else he expected me to do with it. Spit it out on the floor of my car?
He reciprocated via fingers (cunnilingus proved a bit too difficult in the car) and we fell asleep cuddled up in the backseat. We’re still together. All in all, a very pleasant first blowjob experience.”
22. I got nauseous, gagged, and started crying.
“I got nauseous and gagged a lot. He said it was okay if I stopped. Then I started crying because I’d wanted to do something special for his birthday (we’d been dating about two months at that point) and he said it was fine and we’d try some other time.”
Got my period two days later. My period makes me nauseous and weepy. Many a-has were a-ha’d.
(I did end up successfully completing a blowjob like two months later. My general reaction was “wow, this is really sour and kind of savory, it’s not salty at all.”)”
23. I had braces, so it was awful for him.
“Awful…for him. I had braces and I’m still not sure why he would knowingly accept a metal BJ. He soon learned it was not a good idea when a part of the band on my molar met his dick.”
