1. The world-destroying pain of being hit in the balls.
“Being hit in the gonads. It’s not even the hit, it’s the nano second just after you’re hit when the sensation is traveling from your balls to your mind to produce the reaction & everything good you ever knew is now just a memory because for the next 5-10 minutes pain is all you’ll ever know.”
2. The negative effects of lust on a man’s decision-making skills.
“The extremely poor decision-making mindset that men can be in when they’re horny and the sudden reversal to clear thinking after a man cums. The Japanese word for it is kenjataimu.”
3. The complete lack of control we have over our erections.
“We can’t really control them, I’ve got boners from dogs brushing against me, I’ve got boners because of the vibrations on the bus. Boners because I started thinking about trying to not get a boner. I went swimming once and my dick touched the pool floor and I got a boner in a swimming pool full of children. I had to sit on the bubbles for 10 minutes.”
4. Our brains’ ability to turn completely off and think about nothing.
“When you ask us what we are thinking about and we say, ‘nothing’, it’s cause we are thinking about fucking nothing. There’s no hidden message. On our minds is either something ridiculously stupid or sweet fuck all.”
5. ‘Manspreading’ is a necessity, not a luxury.
“Men have to ‘manspread’ it’s so fucking annoying when women are annoyed by this. If close my legs my balls are getting crushed.”
6. We don’t want to fuck every girl we meet.
“I don’t want to fuck every girl I meet, I’m just a nice person, get over yourself. If sex is all you think people want you for it’s honestly probably all you’ve got to offer.”
7. Very few things are as embarrassing as going pee in a urinal and then realizing you have to go to a stall to shit.
“Very few things are as embarrassing as going pee in a urinal and then realizing you have to go to a stall to shit.”
8. It’s a struggle when your boner is as hard as diamond at a very inconvenient time.
“The struggle when your boner is as hard as diamond at a very inconvenient time…. ‘Come here and say hello to grandma.’”
9. It is possible for tight jeans to accidentally cut one’s erection.
“When you’re sitting with tight jeans and trying to move your boner so the jeans don’t cut you.”
10. Erections are a very complicated and elaborate physical event.
“Male cocks are not just made and kept hard by the likes of pushing a button.There’s like about 100 things required for it to work and stay working, unless it’s just morning glory, then it’s just there lol.Other than that tho, it takes a lot to get and keep it hard and to keep your focus on what’s going on to maintain it. If our minds wander, our hard-on will be deader than a dodo.”
11. Our bodies take roughly one-tenth the time your bodies take to get ready.
“Why she says she’ll be ready in 5 mins, when we both know it’s another 30 at least. If I know and you know…why not be honest and just say a more realistic time?”
12. We cheat because of sensations, not emotions.
“Men cheat because we like pussy. Opportunity, hot enough girl and the guaranteed sex is all it takes. Girls don’t have to be doing anything wrong to get cheated on. We can still love you after we do it too. It’s a physical thing and instant gratification most times, no emotions…just sensations.”