1. Stop eating our French fries.
“If you wanted fries you should have fucking ordered some. I feel very strongly about this.”
2. Stop using that stupid fucking Snapchat filter where they have the dog nose and tongue.
“That stupid fucking Snapchat filter where they have the dog nose and tongue. You don’t look cute, you look fucking stupid.”
3. Stop doing the Duck Face.
“Girls doing the Duck Face when taking a selfie.”
4. Stop the baby talk.
“Baby talk. Bitch, you 30.”
5. Stop ending every sentence as a question.
“Ending every sentence as a question?”
6. Stop saying other girls bring ‘too much drama.’
“Where girls say that they don’t like hanging out with other girls because they’re too much drama.”
7. Stop stealing our motherfucking hoodies.
“Stealing my motherfucking hoodies.”
8. Stop wearing so much perfume.
“It’s hard to ignore it when your date smells like a perfume factory explosion. I’ve had times where my eyes water up it’s so strong.”
9. Stop saying ‘cray cray.’
“Saying ‘cray cray.’ Jesus Christ please stop saying cray cray.”
10. Stop acting like men are dumb.
“Women who think that the ‘men are so dumb’ attitude in commercials and sitcoms translates to real life.”
11. Stop laughing so loud.
“Girls that laugh obnoxiously loud, whether at a party or in general public, to get the attention of a guy. It’s just annoying.”
12. Stop acting stupid (unless you’re actually stupid).
“Acting stupid or ditzy.
I mean, if you’re actually stupid, be my guest. Act as dumb as you want.
But when an intelligent woman decides to act like an airhead so that men will flock to her and mansplain shit, I lose all respect for everyone involved.”
13. Stop flirting to get special treatment.
“I work in the service industry, and often times when I tell a cute girl that we can’t do something (like make a certain drink in a size it doesn’t come in), she’ll instantly smile and try to look all cute and flirty and say ‘are you sure?’. If they had a low-cut shirt, they might bend over a little.
I don’t like it because it is a little manipulative. Beyond that, it is pretty pointless because we’d do the request for a 70-year-old man who didn’t act all cute and flirtatious, really we’ll make most anything if the customer insists and pays an appropriate amount for it.
I think my main problem is that I just don’t like that the cute girl thinks she is getting special treatment because of her flirting. It is more a hassle than anything.”
14. Stop playing hard to get.
“Playing hard to get.
Here’s the thing. As a guy, if a woman is showing no interest in me, I will not pursue. Period, end of story. Women already have enough harassment to deal with. Pursuing someone who has shown they don’t want to be pursued is a form of harassment.
So here I am. I am chatting with a woman, things are going well, I think there’s a little rapport going, and suddenly cold fish. Do I:
1) Pursue and risk being a creepy stalker on the off-chance she’s playing hard to get?
2) Throw in the towel because no means no and if someone wants space, they get space?
Seriously. Playing hard to get is incredibly dangerous. All it does is train a subset of the population to always believe that ‘no’ means ‘probably.’”
15. Stop saying ‘cray cray.’
“Saying ‘cray cray.’ Jesus Christ, please stop saying cray cray.”
16. Stop laughing so loud.
“Girls that laugh obnoxiously loud, whether at a party or in general public, to get the attention of a guy. It’s just annoying.”
17. Stop acting stupid (unless you’re actually stupid).
“Acting stupid or ditzy.
I mean, if you’re actually stupid, be my guest. Act as dumb as you want.
But when an intelligent woman decides to act like an airhead so that men will flock to her and mansplain shit, I lose all respect for everyone involved.”
18. Stop going insane if we don’t respond to your texts immediately.
“3:00 : Hey :)
3:02 : u there?
3:03 : Baaaaaabe…
3:05 : so i was thinking I was going to wear that underwear you like
3:07: baaaabe why are you ignoring me!
3:09 Well you could at least say hi! [Pouty emoji]
3:13 im just going to fuck your friend tonight.
3 : 14 kidding kidding [monkey emoji]
3:17 : or am I?
3: 19 i totally am lmao
3:22 babe I’m kidding….
3:24 look just say hi!
3:27 i’m going to break up with you!
3:28 not really though
3:30 babe please dont think I mean it
3:40 ok I mean it! We’re breaking up!
3:45 i really mean it!
3:50 no please take me back…. please….
3:55 please x 65
Hey sorry busy at work whats up? : 4:05
4:05 Yay! Babe Im sorry please forgive me [crying emoji]”
19. Stop giving cute names to our penises.
“I’ve had a few girlfriends who named my penis, which I guess they thought was cute. I’m glad they felt enough affection for it that they wanted to give it a name, but for some reason it just really got on my nerves. Ladies, would you want your vagina referred to as Uncle Buck?”
20. Stop acting like spoiled brats.
“Girls who think being a princess entitles them to be a spoiled brat.”
21. Stop being mean as a way of flirting.
“Being mean to you as a way of flirting. Fuck you if you do that, it’s not cute and it won’t make me like you.”
22. Stop teasing us.
“Teasing. So many girls think being a tease is cute. I want a girl who’ll just fucking get to the point, whether it be saying something or doing something.”
23. Stop organizing our shit.
“Organize my shit. For fuck sakes I knew where everything was, now I can’t find anything.”
24. Stop shaving off your eyebrows and then coloring them back on.
“Shaving off your eyebrows and then coloring them back on.”
25. Stop acting like guys should do all the work.
“I don’t really like it when a girl thinks that guys should do all the work, drive every time to her, always buy her shit, always make her feel better but not really get it in return. I’m not made of money and I get low so sometimes maybe we could split a bill or she could pay. Not all the time but sometimes. And my family has been in a bad spot where I can’t have my own car, but apparently that’s my fault. Like fuck, drive to me and hang out.
Point being I don’t like how some girls think ‘old fashioned’ is the only way to go.”
25. Stop ‘playfully’ hitting us.
“Ladies who ‘playfully’ hit you. Then, when you complain, it’s: ‘Oh come on, that didn’t hurt!’
No but it’s fucking annoying, and I’d be in cuffs if I did it to you. Don’t slap or punch or hit anyone, period.”
26. Stop making us ‘fight for you.’
“‘You don’t even fight for me’ … is basically saying, ‘You don’t act like a jealous, possessive asshole when I’m expressing interest in pursuing another partner.’ Especially when this crap is coming from someone who’s all ‘Yay women’s rights’ otherwise. Make up your mind, your partners can’t treat you like an independent person who makes their own choices and like a possession to be fought over at the same time.”
27. Stop taking so long to decide what you want to eat.
“Indecisiveness in regards to food. It’s not funny or cute that you can’t decide what to eat for lunch and then expect me to figure it out. You’re a big girl, what the hell do you wanna eat.”
28. Stop acting ‘sassy.’
“Anything at all that a woman does, which she herself would describe as ‘sassy.’ Sassy sucks ass.”
29. Stop whispering.
“Women who whisper everything. WE CAN’T FUCKING HEAR YOU!!!”
30. Stop randomly kicking us in the crotch.
“Randomly kicking men in the crotch and laughing, for almost no apparent reason. I could only speculate as to why this phenomenon happens….I mean, it’s funny for you, but I’d like to have children one day.”
31. Stop putting us on speakerphone to talk with all your loud-ass girlfriends.
“If I call you, and you’re with a group of your girlfriends, I’ll just call you back later. Please don’t put me on speakerphone and make me talk to a group of loud ass women that I don’t know.”
32. Stop emasculating us in front of our friends.
“Women who think I like being emasculated in front of my friends. I don’t.”
33. Stop saying you’re ugly just so we call you beautiful.
“Saying they’re ugly so I call them beautiful, it’s annoying.”
34. Stop saying ‘I’m fine’ when you’re obviously not.
“When girls say ‘I’m fine’ or ‘nothing’ as if a guy can’t tell that she isn’t ‘fine’ and it isn’t ‘nothing.’ This isn’t a fucking romantic movie, grow the fuck up and tell them what’s wrong or don’t get pissy when we don’t ‘take the hint.’”
