WTF Did I Just See?: 14 People Describe The Most Shocking Thing They’ve Ever Witnessed With Their Own Eyes

Flickr Tim Simpson
Flickr Tim Simpson
Found on AskReddit.

1. TWO GUYS IN FURRY SUITS FUCKING ON THE BEACH

โ€œI live in a seaside town in the UK. Lots of tourism. Lots of seafront attractions. I live about 100 yards from the beach, and often walk the dog down there in the morning. I wasn’t expecting to see two guys in full-on furry suits fucking each other in the sand at sunrise. You could tell it was two guys because both of them had their lower halves exposed and there were one too many dinguses flapping about in the breeze. Needless to say we walked elsewhere that morning.โ€

2. CLOWN GETS SUCKER-PUNCHED

โ€œI was walking down Canal Street in New Orleans toward the French Quarter. Walking about half a block in front of me, in the same direction, was a white guy in blue jeans and a leather jacket. Coming the other direction was a clown. As leather jacket pulled even with the clown, he hopped to the side, threw a right hook to the clown, and took off running. The clown fell to the ground, clutching his face, and screamed, โ€˜WHAT THE FUCK!โ€™ Leather jacket disappeared around the corner.โ€

3. DIARRHEA-SHITTING ON A CORVETTE

โ€œLast year in the parking lot of a GameStop a disgruntled employee diarrhea-shat on the roof of the district managerโ€™s Corvette C7.โ€

4. A MAN CARRYING A HUNDRED-FOOT OAK TREE

โ€œAs a kid, I once stepped out of my house and saw a man carrying an oak tree that was at least 100 years old and 100 feet tall. I could see it had just been cut from its stump, and even though his arms couldn’t nearly encircle it, there he was slowly walking along with it. Then I realized that out of vision was a crane holding it from the top, and he was simply guiding it. Then they went on to cut it apart from the bottom up. But for those 10 seconds, I thought I was seeing some kind of superpower.โ€

5. MALE TURKEY DEATH MATCH

โ€œOnce while driving on a back road, I came across two male turkeys fighting. This went on for a solid 5 minutes. I couldn’t get around them due to a guard rail so I was forced to watch the whole thing. No matter how many times I beeped the horn, the fighting continued. Eventually they moved off into the woods where I assumed one murdered the other. The noise was terrifying.โ€

6. A CAT PERFORMING THE DANCE OF DEATH

โ€œI saw a cat perform a dance of death. It was horrifying. Was walking along a quiet street when a fight between three cats spilled out from a garden. Two of them were ganging up on the third, and after trading a few blows the third just started to flip out. It started leaping around frenetically on the spot, like some sort of fucked-up ballerina, bouncing its back and neck off the tarmac, screeching and wailing all the while. Myself and the other two cats froze in utter bewilderment, just staring at what was happening. After a few moments of this scene playing out, the dancing cat hit the ground one last time, and was still. Dead. The other two cats bolted. I was left in shock. That was a few years ago, but itโ€™s stuck with me.โ€

7. THE BURGER KING HIMSELF FLEEING A BURGER KING

โ€œSpring of 2007. I was 12, and going on a camping trip with my dad and brother. On the way to the campground we stopped in some little Podunk town in the hills to get gas. Across the street from the gas station was a Burger King. As my father pumped gas, the three of us watched as THE Burger King himself (the creepy latex-masked one from the commercials at the time) SPRINTED out of the restaurant, hopped the guardrail into the shopping center lot next store, and ran about 150 yards before disappearing into the woods. And all the while, there was this obese child (no more than my age at the time) who was chasing after the Burger King with a camcorder, shouting obscenities at him. He made it about halfway across the parking lot before falling flat on his face and breaking his video camera. All we could do was stare in disbelief.โ€

8. DRUNK MALE PROFESSOR MAKING OUT WITH A MALE STUDENT

โ€œWhen I was in college I had a professor who everyone though was really cool. He was a British guy in his 50’s, really great teacher he would take the whole class out to eat or for coffee all the time (it was about 20 people)….After the last class he took us all out to a really nice bar and paid for a bunch of drinks. I had like 5-6 pretty good friends in the class and one of them was a gay dude, not flamboyant at all, but he had a higher pitched voice and had made some comments about having a boyfriend or whatever in class, NBD, just background. Anyway, back to the bar, we’re all drinking having a good time, none of the students got anything more than buzzed, but the prof got sloshed, like he was slurring his words. Nobody cared we all just thought it was funny. At some point most of the students decide it’s time to go, so we go up to the prof to say bye and thanks and we all give him hugs. Well, it’s the gay kid’s turn, and they hug, but as the kids exiting the hug the prof pulls him back in for what we all thought was a second hug, but he kisses him straight on the mouth. The kid was sooo surprised and didn’t know what to do, meanwhile we’re all watching and our jaws literally dropped. The kiss lasted maybe 3-4 seconds before the kid kinda slipped away and half walked half ran straight to the exit and then we all dipped like fries in ketchup.โ€

9. SECRET CAT ORGY

โ€œOne time when I was a kid I was out playing in the backyard of the house we where living in back then. I was climbing in one of our trees and took a peek over the fence to our neighbors yard where I see this: 2 cats mating on a table, surrounded by other cats sitting in a circle around them and just watching the 2 cats in the middle going at it in complete silence. I must’ve moved my leg or arm or something that broke some little twig that made a sound because I remember they noticed me and then run away really fast. It was like they where having a secret cat orgy or something.โ€

10. OPEN-HOUSE MASTURBATOR

โ€œWhen I was growing up, my Mom and Dad were shopping for a new house. We went to a new construction neighborhood to take a look. There was a model that my Mom liked and the saleslady said there was one being built down the street, it was about 50% done, but we can take a look to get an idea of the space. So we all hopped into the sales lady car and went to go look. We got in the house and she started to show us around. We went upstairs and in the 2nd floor bedroom, there was a guy fully nude and furiously masturbating away. I am 100% sure he heard us coming as the house was empty and our voices were slightly echoing as we moved around. My Mom screamed, the saleslady screamed, my Dad said โ€˜WTF,โ€™ I was just hysterically laughing. The guy grabbed his clothes and just ran past us and out the house.โ€

11. ALLIGATOR MAN WITH RACCOON ON A LEASH

โ€œI was heading for the bus to go home after work when someone came around the corner in purple alligator cowboy boots, white leather pants, a lime green alligator jacket and a purple alligator top hat carrying a live raccoon on a leash in one hand and a jeweled walking cane in the other and just made a beeline for the same bus I was running for…I slowed down and decided it would be best to get the next bus.โ€

12. MYSTERY CLOUD

โ€œI saw a โ€˜cloudโ€™ surround a tall building and go around it multiple times. You could see through it but it was a bit opaque. At first, it seemed to be made of small thingies, almost as if it were a swarm of bugs but it looked more like thin mist. It was around the highest floors of the building (10 in total, maybe) and nowhere else. It wasn’t perfect or symmetrical, it broke apart sometimes, it changed directions, it swirled. And of course, it had to be huge so that I could see it like that from the floor. After a while of incredulously staring at it, the โ€˜cloudโ€™ seemed to notice the staring and โ€˜itโ€™ started to come toward us, seemingly on purpose. It swam directly towards us, swirling and doing strange movements. At this point, I freaked out. I had been intrigued but after seeing that it seemed to feel(?) us and it was coming, I wanted to get the hell out of there. So we started going back and it followed us for a while and then it stopped. I kept looking back but there were very tall trees and I didn’t see it anymore. Now, it was late at night but I wasn’t sleepy or drunk (I don’t drink) or on drugs (I don’t use them); I never hallucinated anything like that in my life before or since then AND I have a witness, who saw exactly the same thing I did. I know it sounds absolutely crazy but it really happened. I don’t like to talk about it much with other people because no one believes it wasn’t mist or a swarm of bugs and they just laughed it off. But we both know that what we saw was neither of those things. It terrified me at the time but now I wish I could see it again, with more witnesses this time, so that I can finally learn what that was.โ€

13. PUBLIC MASTURBATOR

โ€œI was driving through downtown London Ontario and was stopped for construction. Leaning against a building near me there were lots of people smoking, begging for change, playing guitar, and one guy furiously jacking it. He was just going at it like his life would end at any moment and no one gave him a second look. People walked past, people chatted right next to him, it was like he was invisible and only I could see him.โ€

14. ROADSIDE PORN SHOOT

โ€œWhen I was in high school my crew team was on the bus going to practice. All of a sudden, one kid points out the window towards the woods yelling, โ€˜Oh my God! That guy is getting a blow job!โ€™ This sparked a chain reaction of screams which was followed by another kid yelling, โ€˜From a dude!โ€™ and another, โ€˜There’s some guy watching!โ€™ and finally I joined in with, โ€˜There’s another guy filming it!โ€™ We were driving past a roadside porn shoot apparently.โ€ TC mark

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