My Friends Are My Soulmates, And I Couldn’t Be Happier

There has always been talk about finding the right person for you. About finding your forever, your soulmate, your greatest relationship. The ones that top out above the rest.

I’ve spent the better part of my life searching for my greatest relationship. I have flirted and crushed and dated more times than I can count. I’ve stayed up at night planning futures involving these boys and myself, living in perfect harmony. Then I would wake up to reality- and it just wasn’t the same. These boys weren’t thinking about forever- I was lucky if they were thinking about tomorrow. Day in and day out, I would repeat the same process, because finding the love of my life was top priority, wasn’t it? I mean they are your greatest relationship, after all.

Or, maybe not.

When I truly thought about it, it being what my greatest relationship should consist of, there were some things I knew were non-negotiable. Things like loyalty, kindness, and the ability to be completely myself. When it comes to myself, I also look for someone open enough with their feelings and thoughts-who doesn’t care as much for what everyone else thinks. People who show love unconditionally and accept that I will love them that way in return. Who aren’t afraid to stick around for the hard parts.

The more I started to think about it, I realized that over these last several years, I was surrounded by people who not only held these qualities, but represented them in an overwhelming way. And here is the honest truth:

Your best friends are your greatest relationship with another person.

You may not think this is true, or that there must be another option. Isn’t our greatest relationship supposed to involve romance? Isn’t it supposed to end in a marriage and a happily ever after for the story books?

I’m just not convinced that is the case.

Because looking back on my life, my friends have been a consistent well of unconditional love for years. Even when I hit my lowest points, they were the ones who helped me come back. The ones who never gave up on me when I tried to accept that a broken mess was my identity and it was all I’d ever be.

My friends are not hesitant about compliments. They are not worried if they flatter me a little too much that I will get the wrong idea. They aren’t concerned that if we spend every day that week together, that I will get too attached. They don’t worry about a commitment to our friendship- they have sought it out and have taken it upon themselves. They do not look at the side of me that is not put together and polished and back away. In fact, they usually join me, setting aside their “we have it all figured out” facades and we laugh about how life is unpredictable and unsteady.

Your friends, they get you. They not only get you, but they see you for who you are and choose, every single day, to stay. And here is the thing about friendships- when people want to be friends, then they are. They treat you the way they want to be treated, and you do the same for them. They will call you out on your crap if you’re doing something wrong, but they are your biggest support system at the end of it all. They push you to be your best self while simultaneously not forcing you to become someone you’re not. They aren’t kind to you in order to get something out of it, but because they care about you. They don’t stick by your side because they have nothing better to do, but because they believe in you. In all honestly, some of the strongest love you will ever find will come from your best friends, because there is no one forcing them to love you.