15 Signs You Might Be Surrounding Yourself With The Wrong Type Of People

Harvey Made

1. You’re surrounding yourself with the wrong people when the best time you have together is one that’s drunk. When you don’t even know what a sober conversation with them is like or it’s something that’s uncomfortable, they aren’t the right people for you.

2. You’re surrounding yourself with the wrong people when the only thing you have to talk about are things that happened in the past. Sometimes people aren’t meant for your future and that doesn’t mean what you had isn’t special, it’s just important to know when to let go of some people.

3. You’re surrounding yourself with the wrong people if all you ever do is talk about others. Eleanor Roosevelt once said, “Great minds discuss ideas; average minds discuss events; small minds discuss people.” Realizing someone might be toxic to you isn’t the hard part it’s removing those people from your life who do nothing but cause does is what will be the challenge.

4. You’re surrounding yourself with the wrong people if every time you’re around them you feel more depressed and question parts of your life. Before you walk around saying you’re depressed, make sure the people around you aren’t those who are toxic bringing out the worst parts of you.

5. You’re surrounding yourself with the wrong people if every conversation is about them. Spend time with people who actually ask ‘how are you?’ and care enough to hear your answer.

6. You’re surrounding yourself with the wrong people if they aren’t supporting your dreams. The most important people in your life are going to be the ones cheering you on when no one else is because they believe in your potential and your ability to do something great. Even if they might have doubts or fears about what it is you are doing, they don’t voice their opinion if it’s negative.

7. You’re surrounding yourself with the wrong people if it’s only you making the effort. Relationships aren’t always 50/50 effort. It’s about someone realizing, you can only give 20% today and they are going to have to put in 80%. Knowing very well the roles could be switched tomorrow.

8. You’re surrounding yourself with the wrong people if they haven’t seen every dark side of you and stayed. It’s easy to like someone when they are happy and succeeding. But real relationships are established in the moments you are falling and they don’t let you. The moments where it seems everything in your life is some storm and they come with an umbrella because they don’t want you to endure it alone. They are the ones who aren’t looking for a solution when there might not be one but they stay by your side until things improve. The ones who make you feel less alone in a world that is doing it’s best to make you feel lonely.

9. You’re surrounding yourself with the wrong people if they aren’t holding you accountable for your mistakes. These are the people who call you out when the choice you made isn’t the right one and instead of getting angry and leaving, they help you to learn.

10. You’re surrounding yourself with the wrong people if they aren’t pushing you to do more for others. The greatest way to achieve happiness isn’t through what you achieve but in what you help others to do and what you’re willing to give back. Doing charity work or something greater than yourself isn’t to be boastful it’s to make a difference and if the group of people you’re surrounding yourself with don’t do that you’re settling.

11. You’re surrounding yourself with the wrong people if they are negative. Being negative turns everything dark in its path. And if you associate yourself with people who complain and blame others for their problems, you’ll eventually turn into that too. Who you surround yourself with will reflect who you become so you have to make sure those people are quality people.

12. You’re surrounding yourself with the wrong people if they are your comfort zone. The ones who encourage you to play it safe. These aren’t the people who are going to push you to achieve that thing that scares you most or quit the thing you hate because it’s draining you. These won’t be the people who tell you to hop on that plane even though you don’t know why you’re going in the first place, you just know you have to and that’s enough of a reason for them. When you settle for a comfort zone and people in it, you aren’t maximizing your full potential.

13. You’re surrounding yourself with the wrong people if they are using you. The ones who only come into your life when they need something or during that one time a year. The ones who gain something greater from you and don’t appreciate your presence. The only people you need are the ones who can sit there with you and they are there because they want to be there and the exchange between you two is mutual full of respect and kindness.

14. You’re surrounding yourself with the wrong people if you have to compromise your values to maintain the relationship. Hold true to the things you believe in and if you come across people who don’t, you don’t need them.

15. You’re surrounding yourself with the wrong people if their love comes with strings attached and obligations. Love isn’t something that’s conditional. The people who really love you and care for you will do so, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

Remember the most important people in your life are going to be the ones who show you relationships are supposed to be easy. TC mark

Kirsten Corley

Kirsten is the author of But Before You Leave, a book of poetry about the experiences we struggle to put into words.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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