This Is What Makes You Lovable, Based On Your Love Language

Woman in field
Bảo-Quân Nguyễn

Words of Affirmation

You make people feel like they matter. You speak with a certain kindness that is so rare in the world these days. Particularly, you find a way to appreciate all the little, beautiful things about people – the things that others don’t notice as much. When someone gets a new haircut or loses a few pounds, of course you’re the first to notice and compliment them. But what makes you truly lovable to others is that you can just make them feel appreciated for who they are as a person, and you notice the stuff that really matters. You notice people’s wonderful laughs, their quiet generosity, their humble bravery, their work ethic, their loyalty to their friends and family, their contagious silliness, their constant selflessness. You never let a day go by without making someone feel loved, noticed, appreciated, cared about, looked up to, or all of the above. That’s what makes you lovable.

Quality Time

When people think about you, they think of someone who is dependable, loyal, solid, and steady. You’re the kind of person who never lets anyone down, and who does what they say they’re going to do. In a world full of flakes, you’re the one who always shows up, who is always ready to provide a shoulder to lean on, and who truly makes people feel loved. One of everyone’s favorite things about you is that whenever you’re with someone, you make them feel like you truly want to be there – like you’re present, you’re listening to them, and you truly care about them and their time. You always make eye contact, you keep your phone on silent, and you make people feel seen. That’s what makes you lovable.

Receiving Gifts

Your thoughtfulness, generosity, and compassion astound people. You are always and have always been so giving, kind, and charitable to everyone you meet. You’re the one who remembers everybody’s birthday (and who actually sends a handwritten card), you are the ultimate ‘just because’ kind of gift-giver, and you are always looking for new ways to make people feel thought about and appreciated. People love you not for the wonderfully unique gifts you give (though they are truly wonderful); they love you for how much warmth and love that you yourself give out. From the constant hugs, to your welcoming nature towards newcomers, to the fact that you remembered to send them a card after their dog died, to the genuine ‘how are you doing’ questions you always ask, to the coffee pickups and hot soup drop offs – there is no one who gives off more warmth, thoughtfulness, and care than you. That’s what makes you lovable.

Acts of Service

People know you better, trust you more, and depend on you more than anyone else they know. This is because you are someone who actually shows people you love them with your actions. You are the opposite of empty words or broken promises – you are the person who does what they say they’re going to do. Not only do you miss your best friend, but you take one of your rare vacation days to fly halfway across the country to visit them when they’re having a tough time. Not only do you love your partner, but you find ways to constantly remind them, not just through your words, but through lots of special everyday moments – making them dinner, surprising them with a Saturday night concert, sneaking their favorite candy into their work bag. People trust you with their gut – they know you’re dependable, they know you’re genuine, and they know you’re so, so real. That’s what makes you lovable.

Physical Touch

You radiate a constant warmth and openness to everyone. Of course with your significant other, you’re constantly rubbing their back, holding their hand, and always making them feel loved. But you’re also so incredibly warm to everyone else in your life. Hugging friends of friends when you meet them instead of just shaking their hand, welcoming people into your party with an arm grab or a back pat, having a firm handshake, comforting a crying friend with the most sincere and reassuring hug that you can muster. When people think of you, they think of home, of acceptance, of tenderness. That’s what makes you lovable. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Kim Quindlen

I’m a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

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