12 Men Share The Crucial Dating Advice They Wish They Could Give Their Younger Self

Benjamin Combs

1. “If you like her, don’t worry about all the bullshit rules about waiting a certain amount of time to text her back or follow up with her after a great date. You might blow your chance. Just be up front and get over your own ego and tell her you wanna see her again.”

–Joel, 28




2. “Never underestimate how helpful your sisters can be with advice, if you’re lucky enough to have sisters.”

–Ian, 32




3. “Don’t shut down when you’re in a fight. That’s just as bad as yelling.”

–Trevor, 31




4. “Even if a date doesn’t absolutely blow you away, give it another shot or two if she seems cool and interesting. You never know what you might learn about her. Sometimes a sense of humor or a really cool personality trait doesn’t come out until a few dates in.”

–Cory, 27




5. “The whole ‘single, unattached, doing-whatever-you-want’ life gets really old and really lonely really fast, especially with each year that you get more into your twenties. Remember that if the only reason you don’t want to be with her is because you don’t want to ‘commit.’ You will probably regret that later.”

–Derrick, 34




6. “Just tell her when you like her. Either she likes you too and that’s great, or she doesn’t like you and you can move on and stop wasting your time.”

–Brett, 35




7. “Pick your battles. Sometimes fights are worth it and important. Sometimes they are just about you having a dumb ego trip.”

–Luis, 35




8. “Think about how high your standards are, and, if she held you to the same standards – think about whether or not you’d have any shot of meeting it. It might be a good way to realize if your standards are ridiculously impractical.”

–Keith, 33




9. “The good friends will be happy for you when you’ve found a great person. The bad friends will try and convince you you’re getting ‘wifed up’ because they’re afraid of you moving on and growing up without them.”

–Nate, 29




10. “Ask a lot of questions on the dates you go on instead of worrying about talking yourself up. You’ll have a much better time, and you’ll stop yourself from coming across as a self-centered guy.”

–Chase, 31




11. “Find somebody who makes you laugh. That lasts.”

–Jared, 38




12. “Think about what you want long-term, and that will help you from listening to the more shallow side of your brain in the moment.”

–Jesse, 34 TC mark

Kim Quindlen

I'm a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

Trace the scars life has left you. It will remind you that at one point, you fought for something. You believed.

“You are the only person who gets to decide if you are happy or not—do not put your happiness into the hands of other people. Do not make it contingent on their acceptance of you or their feelings for you. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter if someone dislikes you or if someone doesn’t want to be with you. All that matters is that you are happy with the person you are becoming. All that matters is that you like yourself, that you are proud of what you are putting out into the world. You are in charge of your joy, of your worth. You get to be your own validation. Please don’t ever forget that.” — Bianca Sparacino

Excerpted from The Strength In Our Scars by Bianca Sparacino.

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