15 Signs You’ve Found The Right Companion, Not Just The Right-for-Now Companion

Flickr / nicksie2008
Flickr / nicksie2008

1. They listen to you.

Like, really listen to you. They’re not just nodding their head supportively while you talk, as their eyes glaze over and they just try to seem like they’re paying attention. They are actually paying attention because they care about what you think and how you feel and what you find interesting.

2. You can be gross in front of them, and they still like you.

Maybe they think you’re disgusting, but they still like you. There’s no more holding in your amazing belches. No more pretending that you don’t poop. No more acting like your breath smells minty fresh when you wake up. You can just be you, meaning you can go back to having onions on your burgers when you guys go out on dates.

3. They know what your favorite show is.

And they know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that they are not to disturb you while you’re watching it.

4. You two laugh all the time, but you also know how to be serious together.

You’re past the point of flirty dates and fun hook-ups. You want to have fun, but you need more than that, and you’ve found it with this person. You guys have a great time together, and you always know how to make each other laugh. But at the end of the day, when you just need someone to talk to, you can always turn to them. They give you good advice and they know how to talk you through things. You have this wonderful, supportive, engaging person by your side, and it almost feels too good to be true.

5. Reading one another’s moods is like a natural instinct for you both at this point.

You know what they act like when they’re upset, or happy, or mad, or worried. You know what they do when they’re excited. You know how they handle stress. Most of the time, you two can always tell what kind of mood the other is in, even if you’re only communicating via text message. When you spend a certain amount of time with someone and get to know them on a deeper level than you’ve known anyone else, you become incredibly in tune with them, to the point that sometimes you freak each other out with how easily you understand each other.

6. You don’t have to explain things to them.

They just get it. They get you. When something has upset you, they understand why. They know what makes you feel vulnerable and what has deeply affected you in your past. They understand what gets your blood boiling and what you find stupid. You feel a deep sense of relief about being with someone who understands how you function as a person. It’s just so much easier.

7. You actually want to make sacrifices for them.

It’s not just difficult to find the right companion – it’s also challenging to maintain the relationship when you’ve actually found them. Just because you’re in love with someone doesn’t mean there aren’t going to be obstacles. When two people come together to start building a life together, each one of them has to give up certain things if they want the relationship to last long-term. And you’ve come to the realization that even though it’s difficult to make sacrifices, you’re willing to do it if it will help your relationship with your significant other.

8. They like you just as much, and sometimes more, when you’re dressed down.

No one has ever made you feel so damn sexy while you’re wearing sweatpants. And thank God, because who the hell wants to go out every night wearing a tight dress with Spanx underneath? I mean… oh, you don’t wear Spanx? Me neither. I was totally kidding. I look like this naturally. Down with Spanx.

9. You sit on opposites sides of the booth when you go out to a restaurant.

You’re stable and happy and comfortable in your relationship. You don’t feel the need to be snuggling on the same side of the booth while you feed each other french fries. Oh, and bonus: now no one in the restaurant hates you.

10. They know your go-to comfort foods.

When you’ve had a crappy day or you got in a fight with your friend or you’re just feeling upset for no reason, they know exactly what to pick up at the store on their way over. And when you open the door to find them standing on your welcome mat, holding pizza/chocolate/peanut butter/ice cream/a giant crockpot of chili (let’s get creative here)/Insomnia cookies/whatever food makes your heart skip a beat, they’ve never looked sexier.

11. You ask for their opinion, and you mean it.

Because you care about what they have to say, and they care about what you have to say too. It’s important to be with someone who you admire. Someone who you look up to. Someone you feel like you can learn from. It’s also important that they admire and respect you in the same way. And when that does come together, it’s magic.

12. They make you talk about things, even when you don’t want to.

Sometimes, it seems like it would just be way easier to ignore the thing that’s bothering you and never address it. And that’s when you know you’re with the right person – they can tell it’s necessary for you to talk about what’s upsetting you, even when you think you don’t want to talk. It’s like having your own personal therapist. One that you get to cuddle with afterwards. Unless you already have a therapist like that. In which case, you should probably get out of that situation fast and get some counseling for your counseling.

13. You’re comfortable doing nothing together.

Date nights are fun. It’s nice to get dressed up every once in a while, go out to a nice restaurant, and do something different. And while you still make the effort to do that sometimes, you and your significant other don’t feel the need to plan out your evenings together all the time. The best part of hanging out with them is them – you don’t care about fancy nights out or well-thought-out plans, as long as you get to be together.

14. You find yourself making decisions according to how they will benefit both of you, not just you.

It doesn’t matter if you’re dating or engaged or married or just in a long-term committed relationship. Whatever the status, when you’ve found the right companion, you start basing your decisions around what will be best for you as a couple. You don’t feel obligated or forced or pressured to accommodate them in your life. Rather, you want to make decisions that are going to be good for the two of you as a couple. You find yourself wanting to do everything you can to make sure the two of you have a solid future together.

15. They know your hangover treatment method.

At this point, you’ve had plenty of sloppy nights together. Sometimes you’re the mess. Sometimes they are. Sometimes it’s both of you (aw). The most important thing is that they know what you need when you crack open one eye in the morning. Whether it’s pizza or bacon or a shower or ibuprofen or Scandal, they have it ready and waiting for you. Now that’s love. Thought Catalog Logo Mark

About the author

Kim Quindlen

I’m a staff writer for Thought Catalog. I like comedy and improv. I live in Chicago. My Uber rating is just okay.

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