1. Ripping off a pore strip only to sit there for several minutes examining the forest of gunk that came out your face. Bonus points if you use the flashlight on your phone for extra magnification.
2. Going to town on an ingrown hair and marveling at the root when you finally yank it out.
3. Pooping and instantly weighing yourself to see if you lost a pound while looking to see if your stomach is flatter.
4. Waiting way longer than you should to wash your jeans. And your hoodies. And your bras.
5. Not really remembering when the last time you washed a bra even was.
6. And on the washing subject, you’ve gone so long without washing your hair that it’s almost not even gross, it’s just impressive.
7. Doing the Molly Shannon “Superstar” armpit test to see if you sink.
8. Popping zits is honestly like a party it’s so much fun.
9. Same goes for popping other people’s zits.
10. Getting crap out from under one of your nails with ANOTHER nail.
11. And having no problem using your nails to scrape those really hard boogers out of your nose.
12. Eating food that you find hidden in your bra.
13. Pulling a bra out of the dirty laundry because the only “clean” (again tho, no bras are clean) bras are wildly uncomfortable so it’d be better to Febreze the nasty one.
14. Putting makeup on TOP of old makeup because you were just too lazy to wash your face.
15. Finding yourself stranded without a pad or a tampon and having to MacGyver something out of toilet paper lest you bleed all over.
16. Or just bleeding and then soaking the underwear in your sink like some sort of menstruation marinade.
17. Pulling hair out of your butt crack in the shower and swirling it on the side of the wall to throw away later…but forgetting to dispose of the butt hair a good 40% of the time.
18. Eating in bed and not giving a damn about where the crumbs go or washing your sheets for days after.
19. Brushing your teeth with your finger (or…someone else’s toothbrush :O) after crashing at someone else’s place.
20. Licking the back of your hand and smelling it to find out what your breathe situation is.
21. Taking a baby wipe and perfume shower instead of actually showering.
22. Eating a granola bar or chewing a piece of gum you find at the bottom of your bag despite not knowing how long it was there.
23. Loving “no shave” November. (And frankly, no shave July because who the fuck cares.)