1. Buy a bidet. If you’re thinking at all about buying a bidet, just buy one. They make ones you can install in about 20 minutes. Just get a bidet. You don’t think you need a bidet? You need a bidet. Already got a bidet? Buy your friend a bidet.
2. Pee after sex! Male or female, everybody needs to pee after sex.
3. Don’t put soap inside your vagina. Don’t use douches. Mild soap is fine just on the outer labia and around the clitoris. Water is good for the rest. If you have a bad smell that lasts even after washing the outside with soap and rinsing with water then you need to go to a gynecologist and get checked for STD or UTI or other types of infections.
4. Wash your feet! Most people I know seem to believe their feet magically become clean from having soapy water run down them while they are showering. That is NOT the case! You really need to wash your feet. Also, a good idea to take a pumice or foot file to calluses and use a hard nail brush for toenails.
Keeping your feet clean will prevent a lot of problems, particularly with fungus. Funguses live and thrive on dead skin cells so if you have toenail fungus you will have a really hard time getting rid of it till you get rid of dead skin around the nails!
5. Invest in a good night cream. Even if you are not regularly moisturizing – using a good night cream even a couple of times a week makes a hell of a difference for your face.
6. Carry wet wipes or baby wipes and use them throughout the day. The goal is to remove the excess bacteria and sweat.
7. Brush the roof of your mouth. It’s just as important as brushing the tongue.
8. Tongue scrapers are amazing and make a huge difference. I always explain it to people like if you eat Doritos, then brush your teeth and use mouthwash, you can still taste the Doritos if that makes sense. And if you can taste it, people can smell it. A tongue scraper after brushing gets all of it and your mouth will actually feel clean.
9. Occasionally wipe down your doorknobs and light switches. When I was a maid I’d clean people’s light switches and they’d be covered in brown gunk because they’d never been cleaned before. We touch them multiple times every day. They get nasty.
10. CLEAN. YOUR. PHONE. Anti-bacterial wipe, all over that fucker.
11. For the majority of males: wipe your penis after peeing. Sincerely, oral givers.
12. Washing my hairbrush. I used to just get rid of the excess hair but that was it. I never rinsed it out. I wash it in a mild soap solution and rinse it in very hot water and it makes my hair smell so much better.
13. Clean your pillowcase regularly, it helps keep your face from breaking out.
14. Unscented antiperspirant under the arms and under the boobs and any loose flaps of skin. Works wonders for preventing the gross feeling of sweaty boobs and whatever…
15. A note on conditioner – if you’re not careful to wash it all out/rinse off your back and you have longer hair, it can be the cause of back acne.
16. Floss your teeth. If not daily, at least a couple of times a week. Why? Go floss them and smell that floss. That sewage smell? It’s from the food rotting between your teeth.
17. Using conditioner can often be a great way to avoid razor burn when shaving the difficult bits, or just opt for a wax!
18. Wash behind your ears. And in the folds on the outside for that matter! Gets gross AF real quick.
19. I know this might be common sense but moisturize after you have a shower… It makes such a big difference.
20. Always wipe front to back. ALWAYS!!!!
21. Don’t overdo perfume or cologne. Put it on the inside of your wrists and collarbone. Blood vessels are close to the skin there and the heat will spread the scent. It doesn’t matter if you buy expensive cologne if you reek like a 15-year-old covered in Axe.
With a good perfume, a little goes a long way. Your goal should be to not smell and the scent is a nice treat people should occasionally get a hint of when close to you.
22. Give your whole body including your face a gentle scrub once or twice a week. Exfoliation helps with circulation and reduces dead skin build-up that causes the skin to develop acne and or look dull.
23. If you have long hair, especially baby-fine long hair, brush it out and braid it before you go to bed. You’ll save time on getting tangles out in the morning!
24. When using a public toilet, tear off a couple of toilet paper pieces to use a fresh strip. The one hanging there was already touched by someone’s dirty hands after using it to clean themselves.
25. I don’t think a lot of people realize that deodorant should be applied after you bathe as opposed to when you are getting ready to leave. It’s best to apply right after drying off.
26. Keep a small microfiber hand towel in the bathroom. Wipe away the water off the stainless steel fixtures in the shower once you’ve had a shower, and use it to wipe off your tap and plug in the sink as well as the bowl of the sink after brushing your teeth or washing your hands, or shaving, etc. Takes 10-20 seconds. Especially focus on anything stainless steel as it stops it from getting scummy and covered in limescale. Just hang it up to dry and throw it in your weekly wash. Then realize you only need to clean your bathroom surfaces once a month at best.
27. Wash your hair first, and move from the top down in the shower. If you wash your body and then wash your hair, all the grime and dirt from your hair will wash down over your clean body, which will thusly defeat the purpose of washing your body. Top down.
28. Don’t take super long hot showers. It’s not good for your skin, especially if you have acne. And if you keep the temperature at a constant warm (instead of turning it a little hotter every few minutes like I used to do) you’ll find it easier to get out of the shower and escape the warmth meaning you won’t waste so much water.
29. Wash your navel every time you shower!
30. Don’t ignore a toothache. Abscesses can lead to sepsis that’ll destroy your whole body. Take care of those luxury bones!