How To Know If He Is Worth The Risk

“‘It’s impossible’, said pride. ‘It’s risky’, said experience. ‘It’s pointless’, said reason. ‘Give it a try’, whispered the heart.”
Flickr / Sam Caplat
Flickr / Sam Caplat

Second chances. I believe I’m a woman armed with a heart of chances. I’ve had it broken a number of times yet I still manage to get back up and give love another try. I admire my heart for that. For still being the hopeless romantic that it is. For not giving up despite the times it has been trampled on. For still falling head-over-heels, reach-for-the-stars in love because what’s the point of it, if you can’t love with your whole?

Aside from my own heartbreaks, I’ve also been an ear, shoulder, and hand to those who went through the same. And what saddens me is how much their perspectives on love have changed after getting it shattered. “How about your heart?” you may ask. It looks the same, though it has a couple of rough edges but it’s still okay. It looks stronger.

As I grow up, my heart does as well. It has able to build a connection with the mind. It now knows how to make rational decisions when it comes to choosing those who are worth the risk and those who aren’t. Choosing whether to close the book or write another chapter. But then your mind will start formulating numerous “what if’s” that’ll drive you insane as your breakdown at night. What if you chose to break the thread, then realize after that it was him along?

What if he becomes the one that got away? But what if he’s not worth the pain after all? What if he’ll end up committing the same mistake? What if you can’t work things out anymore? But the most difficult what if is: What if you chose to close the book, but he insists on getting the pen and writing another sequel? How would you know if it’s worth another shot then?

No one exactly knows what the future has in store for us; uncertainty will be your foe but it wouldn’t last for that long. If he’s persistent enough to prove himself, consistent for you not to overthink things, and loves you enough not to let you slip away, then trusting him again wouldn’t be such a struggle. You’ll then wake up feeling better – definitely not that sad, but the smile on your face is slowly coming back. And this is good news. It means he’s doing well. But never rush the process of you, healing.

Watch each other grow from the situation. Apology will never be just the key because time goes with it. Just because the love is there, doesn’t mean the trust is. It’ll be there, it’s actually on its way but no one can tell when it’ll arrive. The thing here is that you have to grow together. He’ll need your help along the way, and you HAVE to be there. Yes, you were hurt but you still have to. It’ll never work if someone stops trying.

You’ll know if he deserves it if he constantly makes efforts. You wouldn’t be blinded anymore by his words, you will be needing actions because words are sweet, but actions are priceless.

Don’t push him away too hard, either. You’ll get mad again. The feeling will come back. It’ll hurt again. And it’s more than the kind of hurt that a bandage can cover, it’s the kind of hurt that injures your soul. If he loves you, he’ll always be ready to pull you closer. But don’t push him too hard because he can only take so much. If he genuinely wants to make it up to you, he’ll cross oceans, move mountains, and climb the walls that you’ve been building around yourself.

Above all, the risk is worth it if you know you dated a man, and not a boy. Everyone is capable of making mistakes but a man will be mature enough to face the responsibility and consequences. He’ll come out differently as the two of you grow together. Who would want to find another one but still sleep to the thought of the past, anyway?

More than this, you always have to guard your heart. Make sure that he’s capable of giving back the kind of love you give because that’s what you deserve. Yes, he screwed up but if he’s the type of man you want to spend the rest of your life with, then it’s definitely worth another try. TC mark

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