Strong Girl, You Don’t Need Him

Jean Gerber
Jean Gerber

You don’t need him.

I’ve learned the hard way that you can love someone and be blindsided by your strong attraction to them and eventually mistook it for love. I was beginning to latch onto an idea of someone up to a point where it became unhealthy. I would always think of that person and think of how he’s doing every day. That’s normal up until all I do all day is think more of how can I be attractive in his sight that I began to lose my own identity.

I know how it feels. I know how it goes. I know how you’d overthink and overanalyze scenarios in your head before they can happen even before they do (but most of the time they don’t).

I know how much you want to learn to speak their language, how to cook their favorite food and even try to eat it even if it upsets your stomach or how you eagerly want to watch their favorite movies just so you can relate whenever he talks about it. I know how you would lose sleep or wake up in the middle of the night to check if they’re online so you can talk to them. And I know how you make those little efforts of making them little gifts, or buying them souvenirs from your recent trips, or even surprise them just to make them smile.

Doing these things can present new experiences and growth if handled carefully but if you’re obsessing over that person, this can be damaging. Especially if you feel that you’re the only one trying.

Loving someone doesn’t have to come with the expense of losing yourself. But let’s admit that we’re only humans and sometimes, when we love someone, it’s all or nothing. We want to make them feel appreciated and loved, but what if you don’t get that in return? What happens when you realize you don’t mean as much to them as they did to you? It hurts, doesn’t it? But there is no one to b lame because people love differently. They may love you, but not just the way you want them to.

So to all the girls who loves someone or who has loved someone and lost themselves in the process, you can find your way back again. Remember: YOU DON’T NEED HIM.

You don’t need him to feel beautiful.
You don’t need him for self-validation.
You don’t need him in order to grow.
You don’t need him to know that you are worthy.
You don’t need him to know that when you love, you love too much and there’s nothing wrong with that.
You don’t need him to like you or love you more.

All you need is yourself, and sometimes that’s more than enough. Love someone but at the end of the day, love yourself more because when all else fails, you still have yourself. The world may come crashing down and it will put you down on your knees but only you will have the strength to get back up and begin again.

Don’t blame love, it’s a beautiful thing. It’s just that sometimes life happens and things doesn’t turn out the way we want them to. But hey, that’s okay too. And should you ever feel that no one will ever love you in the future, don’t go there. There is someone out there who will be strong enough to brave our storm and will stand by your side while you fight your demons.

Strong girl, you don’t need him. You may want him but you don’t need him.Thought Catalog Logo Mark

A firm believer that one should “never settle.”

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