1. You shop more for each other while you’re out than you do for yourselves. “I picked this up, it’s so you.” “Do you like this?” “COME LOOK AT THIS.”
2. You bicker like an old married couple, and over all the old-married-couple things: “No, seriously, borrow my sweater!” “You can have my fries, I swear I don’t want them!” “White wine is FINE, really!” “Okay, are you sure? I love you.”
3. Everybody thinks you’re secretly in a romantic relationship — and the Facebook relationship status you put up to throw off nosy people asking about your love life doesn’t help.
4. You use pet names with them more often than you do your actual significant other.
5. The language you use to convey even the most mundane daily activities is unique and all your own. Other people have gotten lost trying to keep up. (“Oh my god.” “Yeah.” “Really?!” “You’re welcome.”)
6. You have a pact about finally saying “screw dating” and just getting married to each other — and you’re actually kind of almost maybe serious about it. It would make everything so much easier. And by this you mean, you have tentative plans to get married to each other, because you’re basically in a marriage as it is.
7. People confuse your social media accounts because you end up taking pictures of the same things, are tagged in each other’s pictures, retweet each other’s jokes, and are just generally the silent other presence behind the @ handle.
8. You have access to all of each other’s accounts, and if that’s not weird enough, weirder is explaining to people when you accidentally comment on a photo as the wrong person and don’t realize.
9. Receiving compliments from them is your life force blood.
10. (So, okay, maybe you understand why people think you’re in a relationship.)
11. You buy little presents and cards that might make them laugh when you see them in shops. Even if it’s not their birthday. (Especially if it’s ‘just because.’)
12. You can downright premeditate what they’re thinking and feeling before they so much as say it, so your conversations go like, “I need you to tell me I’m being dumb, because that’s what you’re going to say, and I agree, so just remind me.”
13. You scout out prospective dates and lovers at the bar… for each other.
14. They are a main point of conversation in every conversation you have, to the point where your family and friends who don’t know them know everything about them, and when they do finally meet, they’re all but starstruck. “I’ve literally heard everything about you.”
15. You have a couple name.
16. And while some people might think that verging on obsession is weird, you know that you’re equally obsessed with each other. It’s not creepy if it’s mutual. You’re just best friends for life.