This Will Destroy You: 17 People On What They Never Got The Chance To Say

17 strangers weigh in on what they wish they still had the chance to say to lost loves, deceased relatives and former friends before they were gone from their lives. 

1. Unrequited

I love you TOO. — karlagiselle

2. I hope this gets easier for me, like it was easy for you

I miss you so much. I can’t deny, I’m still in love with you. I lay in bed at look out of my window at the stars and I wonder if you’re thinking about me too. I still cry. And although I made mistakes, every part of me loved you. And now I just want to scream at the top of my lungs. I wish you understood how I was. I was not in a good place. I don’t think you understood how much my grandma meant to me. Losing her put me in a horrible place in my life. I wasn’t me. But I knew I loved you. I knew I wanted you as my husband. I do love you. But I know I can’t have you. And we can’t be together. It sucks when I dream about you. Because when I wake up, for a split second I think it was all real. I wish you here. I wish it was December all over again. You don’t know how I lay in bed & just replay every single moment in my head. I don’t know why you fell out of love with me. But I’ve never stopped loving you. Never. I wish we could start over. But I know that can’t happen. Please don’t forget about all the pain you caused me too. I’m a strong woman. I put up with all of it. I was always there for you. Please don’t forget about me. I don’t know why you did the things you did to me. I’ll never know. But I miss you so much it literally hurts. I hope this gets easier for me, just like it was easy for you. — Courtneyhibb

3. I love you, but burn in hell.

You broke my heart. You were my only confidant. I needed your help, my life was on the line, and you turned your back on me. I supported you, and I gave everything I had so that my best friend could have the best possible life, the best possible experiences. In return, you fought and yelled and screamed at me my first semester of university, only to send me a Christmas card that semester ending our friendship. How could you? How could you walk out on another person like that? How could you leave me so alone, knowing I was friendless and familyless? It’s been two and a half years, and I’m still at a loss. I don’t know how to ever develop a friendship that deep and trusting again. I don’t know how to talk to another person. I haven’t had a confidant since you. I’ve been holding everything in and I can’t talk to anyone even though I need to. You’ve utterly broken me. I try so hard to forgive you, but I just can’t yet. I don’t know if I ever will. I wonder and wonder and wonder about your life, if you’re okay and if all has worked out for you. But I don’t know how to move on with my own. I hope that some day, you will realize what you’ve done. I hope that karma serves you this same lesson, so you can understand how you destroyed another person. I’m tired of being the bigger man. I did that our whole friendship and it went seemingly unnoticed. f*ck you, Sarah (N.) M. I hope you burn in hell. — megglefly

4. You don’t know me

K: I find your prejudice appalling. You’ve never met me and yet, you treat me as though I’m an enemy; I feel empathy for you, but your bullshit still pisses me off. I hope you heal and can get over yourself, because it hurts me to think that someone who has never met me could harbor such despicable feelings against me. — Freckles

5. Lost mother

I still want to be your daughter. — estefaniapessoa

6. Death and admiration

I admire you. (To my grandpa. I hope he knows.) — mattchampion

7. Destroyed

You ruined my life… no burn in hell. I don’t mean that to be overdramatic or hateful. I just really mean it. –scrapped

8. Deserted

I would never consider you in a romantic way again. You may have been the first guy I really cared about (while we were both teenagers), but to think – and to go so far as to tell our mutual friends – that I’ll always be an ‘option’ for you is complete and utter BS. You didn’t get me then, and you never will. (When I was visiting the states last year and found out about what he said, it was too late – I didn’t get a chance to straighten him out before I left.) –Miss Seully

9. It’s not over

I still love you and can’t figure out why everything happened the way it did. I’m getting married to someone else in November. — KatySue

10. You’re destroying me, mom

You were trying to be a good mother to teach/protect me. But because of how much you spoke about crimes, rape, abduction and the like I’ve always had recurring nightmares of being kidnapped and/or sexually assaulted. So many vivid dreams that when I was followed and verbally harassed in broad daylight one morning it triggered my fears. Your formula of dont’s to avoid such situations made me feel like it was somehow my fault and I had to accept that it was a random act. This is why I never told you this happened to me and now more than ever when you bring up such topics I zip my mouth and wish for you stop talking. –Lovepaperdoll

11. Gone

I should have loved you more. –gsucatz27

12. You’re not in this family

I am better than you will ever be. You lost a lot when you hurt me, pushed me away, abandoned me. When you told me I was never going to become anything to drove me to accomplish everything I have today. Taking credit for that? That’s bullsh*t. But it’s not what you’ve done to me that hurts me the most, it’s what you’ve done to the rest of my family that really gets me. Yes. MY family. Not YOUR family. Not OUR family. You don’t deserved to be grouped with us because on our worst days, we’re still better than you on your best. — MissCelophane

13. Imperfect

I’m sorry for being such a selfish person. You’re so beautiful, and deserve the very best… — MDL333

14. To the people who hurt me, and the mother I lost

To the boy who told me I was ugly and a waste of space for years in elementary school, I’d probably have a few choice words for him-but if given the opportunity, would kick him in the balls and proceed to punch him in the nose, followed by a swift uppercut. (I am not a violent person, but this particular boy made my life hell from 4th to 6th grade every moment he got. I’ll never forget him.) To my self centered ex boyfriend Jesse, who told me during our first kiss, “girls tell me I’m a great kisser”….I’d say to him, “Thanks for being the girl in the relationship, you helped me realize what I wanted was a man, not a boy.” He has the biggest ego of any male, and what I saw in him was superficial. Lesson learned: just cuz they look “good” doesn’t mean they are good at being decent human beings :-/ To my mother, who never quite figured out how to mother me as a teenager and now as an adult, I’d say, “Saying ‘I’m sorry’ wont kill you”, “You are the reason I need therapy”, and something along the lines of “I miss my mom from when I was 10 years old, who believed in me, encouraged and inspired me, who listened and cared about me as a person. My mom who told me she loved me. The women who I call ‘mother’ is not the same, but a shell of the women who used to be invincible, lovable mom. Now, you are just Jenny. And I miss my mom. –KennaLee

15. It happened

Do you remember that day in the tunnel, when we held hands through the darkness? I looked at you with your glow of radiant beauty and youthful innocence and I wanted to kiss you but I wasn’t ready for that perfect moment. I was young and in love and suspended by raw emotion and doubt that it could be as wonderful as I imagined it could be. — Bodhi

16. Loving someone doesn’t mean they’ll love you back

You taught me how loving someone too much is bad for you. Just because I love someone so much, doesn’t mean they’ll love me back. I wasted so much time with you. Those nights I stayed up crying over you, wondering why are you doing these things to me, I should’ve been sleeping. I wasted so much time defending you. People told me I deserve better, you’re an a*s etc etc. I assured them you were an amazing guy. I don’t know how you can justify all that you did. You can’t. And although I’m not angry at you anymore, ill never be able to look you in the eyes and tell you I love you. I don’t love you anymore. There’s not a part of me that does. — Courtneyhibb

17. It came back around

And that my dear Is what they call Karma. — Jjbal86

You can read the entire conversation here.

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Part time writer. Full time bad ass bitch. Brunch-having New Yorker.

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