I salute you. I salute you for that courageous forgiveness. I salute you for taking risks over and over again, and for giving chances to this person because you never lose the hope that someday they will decide to stay. Because you’re so sure of them. And it’s enough for you that at least they come back. But definitely it’s not that easy—taking back someone who dared leaving you even if it could mean losing you. Or maybe, it’s the other way around. Maybe they’re doing it out of the certainty they would never lose you at all.
Your love is just so strong that you filter what they promised you from what they are showing. You keep on recollecting everything they have said, even if those words seem to have evaporated. Even if it has dawned on you they were mere affectations.
Perhaps you did not really expect that much from them, because you are so happily satisfied with the mere fact that you have them in your life. You have chosen not to look at their failures—intended or not—and preferred to assume they are doing well in your relationship. You are just convincing yourself. Your love is not blind, it sees everything but it chooses to condone their hurtful actions.
You always thought that your re-acceptance will wake them up to the realization that they shouldn’t have left you even for once. But it has ended up accustoming them, getting satisfaction from a recurring reconciliation.
I can never blame that love you have.
I respect every decision you’ve made about accepting them again. But I hope you realize that as long as you open doors for the people who keep on stepping out, you are closing doors for people who don’t know about leaving. Yes, they do exist. And they are the ones deserving of your love. They are the ones who can repay for it.
I know you just love that person who leaves so much. That’s the reason why you feel proud about having them even if they have the guts to hurt you. But I want you to know that no matter how much you like them, it will not cover their immature actions. I want you to save yourself and not that wrong relationship. Reconsider your worth. It doesn’t depend on the fact that you have the person you like. It depends on how you treat it. And one best way to treat your worth right is have it also valued by someone who doesn’t have the habit of leaving.
It’s always better to spend your energy loving yourself and the people who love you back than wasting it on something that’s not meant to work.
Stop refueling your hope for the something that keeps on disappointing you. It’s been a waste of energy and you have to learn. You have to forgive but you also need to open doors for greater possibilities. I salute you for that strength you maintained for them. I salute you for that love and commitment you show. But I hope you allow yourself to experience real love.