1. You flip flop. One minute you think this dude from OKCupid is probably THE ONE OMG, but then you see a hot waiter and you’re like, “Heyyy.”
2. When you and your ex’s song comes on, you start crying hysterically.
3. You’re still stalking your ex’s new girlfriend on Facebook like, religiously.
4. A cute girl invites you to a party, but your first thought is, “Could be fun, could suck though. I should see what my friends are doing.”
5. You go out with your friends and actually have fun for the first time in a long time.
6. You spend a night in with your computer and feel GREAT about it.
7. You’re wondering if now is the perfect time to have that threesome you’ve always been curious to try. (It is! Go! Do it!)
8. When your friends talk about their boyfriends or girlfriends, you’re not jealous — you’re just kind of bored.
9. When someone says the word “love,” the first thing you associate with it is your cat.
10. You have a totally viable scheme for getting your favorite celebrity to hook up with you — if you ever meet them in person. (Seriously! It would totally work!)
11. You find yourself loving the quiet when you’re alone and really enjoying lounging around in sweatpants and pimple cream, eating Doritos from the bag.
12. Weddings make you wanna barf. How can they possibly know they’ll wanna be together FOREVER?
13. You can never commit to anything. You change clothes a million times before you go out, you can never settle on an order at Starbucks and you stare the movie listings for hours paralyzed by indecision.
14. When something awesome happens, the first person you wanna call is your mom.
15. You like going out with no obligation to text and/or go see someone. You can be at this bar until 4 a.m. when Questlove shows up and does a surprise DJ set or some hot chick starts giving everyone handjobs. You know, whatever happens late at night. If someone tried to make you go home early, you’d resent them.
16. You’re thinking of just taking off on a vacation somewhere cool like Thailand or Australia on a whim. Why not? You got no strings.
17. You’re pretty married to your career but in a way that makes you totally kick-ass and ambitious. You’re gonna be SO successful it’s nuts. But it’s all because work gets the bulk of your concentration. If you were in a relationship? It’d only slow you down.