1. You can’t romanticize loneliness.

2. Or pain. Or hurt. Or heartbreak. There’s nothing romantic about binge eating a gallon of ice cream or crying yourself to sleep.

3. Some people will never think that you’re good enough for them. And there’s nothing you can do to change that. What you can do is move on and try to forget about them. But know that pretending not to care isn’t the same thing as letting it go.

4. Your life is not a John Green novel.

5. Nor is it an episode of Friday Night Lights, or Broad City, or Looking (but be grateful that it’s not an episode of Hannibal).

6. Don’t quote me on this, but every word that comes out of your mouth will not be memorable or endlessly quotable, destined to receive thousands of notes on Tumblr and be printed on tote bags and tank tops.

7. There will be nights when you’re awake at 5AM. It could be because you’re in love, or it could be because you’re lonely. It’s up to you to decide which is worse.

8. You won’t always receive the love you give.

9. It’s possible to love the idea of someone more than the actual person.

10. Sometimes you will miss what you’ve never had.

11.On some days, you’ll feel a sense of purpose, a sense of self, like you are finally who you’re meant to be. On other days, you’ll feel like nothing, like you’re no one at all. But know that you will always be you.

12. Real life will never look as good as it does through an Instagram filter (except for the Kelvin filter. Nothing looks good through the Kelvin filter).

13. Holding on to the things that make you sad will never make you happy.

14. We’re all human paradoxes. We think of things that make us sad when we want to be happy. We crave intimacy and attention but reject it when it comes our way. We’re sick of people in one moment and then lonely in the next. We say we care when we don’t, and say we don’t care when we do. We hate this about ourselves, but sometimes we love it, too.

15. Not everyone who enters your life is meant to stay in it.

16. Someone will make room for you if they want you in their life. If you’re continuously putting effort into someone and getting nothing in return, they’re not worth it. Don’t spend time with or insist yourself upon someone who does not recognize your greatness.

17. Sometimes simply realizing that you deserve better will be all it takes to change everything.

18. There’s more to life than finding somebody who wants you, or being sad over somebody who doesn’t. Spend time discovering yourself, and find a way to become whole on your own.

19. But when you do find that somebody, don’t lose yourself because of them.

20. Don’t ever take your friends for granted. And never push a friend to the point where they no longer care.

21. Never put your heart, future, or happiness in somebody else’s hands. Chances are, they’ll drop it.

22. There will be times where you feel very high, and times when you feel very low. This could occur as frequently as daily. But know that you’re not broken. You’re just human.

23. Destroying yourself so somebody else can’t doesn’t solve anything.

24. Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty or apologize for how you feel. Your feelings are valid because you feel them.

25. People will try to define you, categorize you, and box you in so that they can easily understand you. Don’t let them.

26. Always allow yourself joy.

27. Surround yourself with people whose company you genuinely enjoy, who make you laugh and give you things to talk about. Life is too short to make small talk.

28. Your life isn’t a movie. When your bus is stuck in traffic, you probably won’t meet your soulmate; you’ll just be late. There are no musical cues or montages, and chances are you won’t be getting that romantic first kiss in the rain anytime soon. But sometimes — just sometimes — if you take the time to appreciate it, your life could be better than any movie you’ve ever seen.

29. Time really does heal everything. You may have to wait a while, but it will happen. And you will be stronger because of it.

30. You may not be where you need to be. But take time to recognize and appreciate the fact that you’re not where you used to be, either.