1. Gets rid of your blackheads
We’re not just talking about your face and nose. We’re talking about your back, neck, and even ear lobes! You’ll just be lying on the couch enjoying your evening when suddenly her fingers will pop out of nowhere as she’ll begin to squeeze out the blackheads (even pimples) on your forehead.
Sometimes it’ll hurt so bad that you’ll begin to cry those manly tears… and then she’ll continue to show you the residue of each blackhead she takes out (many times saying “Ooh. Your face is so dirty honey!” Don’t take this for granted. She loves you and she wants to make sure her man looks mighty fine when you walk out in public.
2. Stares at you
It can be stealthy. Or, it can be completely obvious without any regards if it makes you feel uncomfortable. You could be grocery shopping and from the corner of your eye you’ll see her staring at every single part of your body. These are just a few different reasons why she’ll be staring at you:
- You look cute and she wants to take a picture to treasure the moment.
- Your collar is crooked and she’ll readjust it when she has the time.
- She’s thinking, “does he need to lose weight?”
- You have blackheads she’s missed.
Later in the day she’ll give you a full report on any of the aforementioned reasons above. It’s weird but it’s a beautiful thing. All she wants is to make sure that her man looks good by her side.
3. Squeezes lotion in your hand
You’ll be in the car and she’ll say something like, “open your hands,” only to squeeze her lotion on your palms: Aveeno Lotion SPF 15 or some sort of Vitamin E cream.
It’s a well-known fact that women love strong hands. However, this doesn’t mean she likes dry clammy hands to grasp her body later in the night. She wants to make sure your hands are smooth for her body! Yes, squeezing lotion in your hands is a subtle thing she’ll do to warm you up for an upcoming bedroom night of fun.
How can this not be love?
4. Plays with your penis as it shrinks
You’re finished and then out of nowhere she’ll start playing with “it.” This is usually followed with laughter and wonderment. If you’re lucky she’ll check if you have lumps (prostate problems) or even if your thing has blackheads.
Love is your girlfriend making sure that your instrument is in its best condition for future use!
5. Replaces your shampoo with “girl” shampoo
One day you’ll walk into your shower to realize that your shampoo (or even nonexistent shampoo) is replaced with some Coconut Strong Healthy Hair Shampoo! Oh. Don’t forget to use the Coconut Conditioner that she’s also supplied right next to the shampoo!
Love is your girlfriend doing all she can to make sure you have strong healthy hair to play with and to pull when staring at you in bed.
6. Squeezes and smacks your butt in public
Women love the feeling of a great firm butt that they can squeeze throughout the day. It can be very unexpected. You’ll be walking in the street or even with your friends when suddenly SMACK! SQUEEZE! PINCH!
She’s marking you. She’s telling the world that her man is taken. And, she’s also subconsciously telling you that you better keep up with those squats (because women love to use your butt, when you’re both in bed, as a lever upwards to get your instrument deeper into her… it’s true).
7. Puts her feet on your dashboard
There’s nothing like your girlfriend taking off her shoes to put her cute little feet (or socks) on top of the dashboard of your car. Yes, sometimes they can smell. But, you have to understand that she does this because she’s quietly telling you that she’s comfortable with you.
More than anything else, it shows that she trusts you enough that she knows you won’t judge the many other weird idiosyncrasies yet to come. The feet thing is just the beginning. (It can be weird and sometimes smelly, however, you have to understand that it’s way better then having her burp or fart in front of you).
Greet it with a smile!
8. Steps on your back
“Honey. Can I step on your back?” No… she doesn’t want to turn you into a paraplegic. Her hands are just not strong enough to massage your back. Therefore, it just so happens that her second best option is to step on your back! Walking on your back will crack all your pesky stressful knots you’ve accrued throughout the week. It’ll be painful at first but as time goes by you’ll see it as nice relaxer after a long stressful day.
Love is your girlfriend doing all she can to keep you relaxed. The only suggestion I have is to make sure her feet are always perpendicular to your spine. Also, you want to make sure that most of the pressure (heel and ball of her foot) is not directly pushing straight into the middle of your back because you will die if she damages your spine. I think.
Anyway, this is a big trust factor and allowing her to step on your back will show her that you also trust and love her unconditionally. Good luck!
9. Gets you snacks you’ve never heard of
You’ll open your refrigerator, suitcase, pantry, or even your glove compartment to find some sort of trail mix you’ve never heard of! You’ll begin to question your body image: Are you fat? Are you too skinny? Are you lacking nutrition? Does she think you have high blood pressure? Is she tired of you eating greasy food because there are just so many blackheads one can pop in a week?
Regardless of the case, you’ll never go hungry and it shows that she wants you to live a long and healthy life. Appreciate it and every other weird thing she does to you!
10. Buys you pillows for your bed
It doesn’t stop at pillows! We’re even talking about stuff animals! Every woman has their own aesthetically geometrical shaped way of structuring her pillows on your bed.
It creates a special bond that only you and her can appreciate for yourselves. It’s actually quite beautiful if you think about it. It’s love! Also, it gives your head and neck more support when she decides to pop your blackheads again!