Jessica Winters

“Every year, I wonder how things can even get better but you always find a way.”

“Carrots don’t have eyes, which is why you rarely see them wearing sunglasses.”

“The stars tonight give me the same feeling I get every time I look in your eyes.”

“When all of your daughters are hot and you realize you can’t fight everybody…”

“I regret the plans I made while I was in a 5-minute extroverted mood.”

“One day, we will never have to say goodbye. Only goodnight.”

Headphones in = don’t want to talk.
One headphone in = still don’t want to talk.
No headphones in = probably still don’t want to talk.

“Let’s run away and get married!”
“I’m sorry…but I cantaloupe.”

“You make my heart skip a beat.”

Short: Virgo, Sagittarius, Cancer, Aries … Tall: Aquarius, Taurus, Leo, Capricorn, Leo, Pisces

“The devil’s reaction when Jesus rose on the third day.”

“A Gemini is strong but worries all the time.”

“I miss you so much I don’t even remember you!”

“I like to live in my head because it’s awesome in here.”

When you accidentally open your front camera.

“It’s funny how we all sleep differently. I sleep on my side. My roommate sleeps on his back. My ex sleeps with everybody. That sort of thing.”

“Janae, would you be my chick to prom?”

“A good place to put inspirational quotes is up your ass.”