The past few months have presented me with ample dating horror stories, which had me thinking a lot about where these guys get the idea that certain things are acceptable first date behavior. And, after reading this article, I felt compelled to clear up a few of these points, with my own opinion, that have become a bit foggy in the single’s market over the years.
- Being a knight in shining armor. What a perfect place to kick this off. The article claims that acting all chivalrous can come off as ‘annoying’ or just a waste of time. This is hardly true. Opening a door for a woman IS expected, and should still happen. Not that I can’t use my huge biceps to do this for me, but it’s out of respect and recognition that I should be treated well by any man I decide to date. Ladies: a genuine ‘thank you’ to follow is also encouraged.
- Choosing a bad venue. Date options are endless. But I think the type of date depends on the guy. If you’re more into a guy who finds comfort in his local watering hole, then expect that that’s what you’re going to get. If the venue ends up being a total disaster, you should depend on the company to make the date that much better. I, for one, can entertain myself in nearly every situation – so whether you take me to a hole in the wall dive bar, or the opera (please, don’t), it shouldn’t be impossible to enjoy yourself. Life is sticky, and you want someone who can survive the mess with you.
- Being wishy-washy. For the most part, I agree with this point. Yes, we do want a guy with a backbone. It’s science. However, I don’t want to feel like every decision is being made for me, or every step forward is already planned out. I enjoy going with the flow, and I want someone who will enjoy doing the same. Spineless is bad, but having a stick up your ass is even worse.
- Getting transfixed by TV. I understand where this one is coming from, but I can’t say I’m not guilty of it myself. I’m a sports fan! We’re trained to catch the score, and see highlights. And, I typically date guys who fall into this same category. We’ve probably discussed our love for sports and which teams we’re rooting for – so as long as we’re both on the same page here, just bring it up in the conversation. However, if this is really a huge issue, maybe choose a place with no TVs? Just a thought.
- Being too honest. Honesty is the best policy. I truly stand by this, and believe it really does lead down the path of a happy ending. Whatever skeletons you’re hiding, it’s best for me to know upfront, so we can avoid the TV-drama-version of your secrets spilling out during a family dinner. I’d rather know right then and there, instead of feeling like your criminal record just gave me whiplash when I just met your mother.
- Constantly interrupting. This absolutely drives me bananas. There is nearly nothing worse than feeling like you’re on a date with someone who just wants to hear himself talk. I’m sure you have plenty of funny stories, and it’s great that you feel like you can share those with me. But, if you ask me a question and something I say (three words in) prompts another story you’re gushing about, I’m annoyed.
- Dressing inappropriately. Date outfits are a bit subjective, in my opinion. Again, it depends on the guy you’re going on a date with, and where you’re going. This article knocks the idea of any sports gear. Okay, if you’re taking me out to a nice dinner with white tablecloths and a bottle of wine, yes – you’re absolutely right. However, comfort is key; this is something I adhere to myself. Being dressed in something you hate how you look/feel is a recipe for disaster. To me, as long as your pants stay on your hips and your shirt doesn’t cut so low that I can see your male boobs, I think we’re good to go.
- Touching on taboo topics. Here are the following topics that we are encouraged to avoid discussing: ex-girlfriends, past heartbreak, religion, politics, and money. I object! Maybe tone down the exes and heartbreak chats, but if you’re passionate about something that isn’t technically ‘first date appropriate’ to discuss, I want to know this. It goes back to being honest – let me know now, so that I am fully aware that I’m dating a hardcore [insert religious and/or political affiliation here] before I start thinking my very frequent ‘Jesus Christ!’ verbal vomiting won’t offend you.
- Staring at the waitress. I appreciate the beauty of women just as much as the next guy. So, maybe I’ll recognize how gorgeous our server is, too. But yes, please limit the googly eyes and drooling…unless that’s directed towards me; I tried really hard to make myself look presentable and don’t want to be sidelined by someone who wasn’t invited on our date.
- Getting loaded. Eventually, if things go well, I’ll want to see your drunk ass and everything that comes with it. But, it’s nearly impossible to have a conversation and get to know you if you’re slurring your words or if you can hardly stand. Typically, I only get blurry-eyed if I can’t stand the date – it’s one way to make the night more manageable. So, if you’re at the point of no return without me, I’m going to assume that you hate me, or wish you were somewhere else. So I strongly suggest that we save the drunken state for a bar crawl after we know each other a little better. I promise it will be worth it.
And, with that, I leave you to consider these quick points to making the first date a little better. And, since I have yet to experience all ten of these on one date, I’ll continue on as well. There’s a first time for everything…right?