1. “Nice, warm, compassionate girl, [one] who looks out after your best interests, voluptuous. The real answer is I always go for crazy people. I like nutcases.”
2. “Open to talking about everything. Willing to discuss, because shit is going to happen. Willing to work through it.”
3. “I want that mix of confidence, intelligence, ambition, and independence that comes from introspection. Silly or serious when either is necessary. Intimate and self-deprecating. Not too petite, not too big, better teeth than mine, preferably brunette. Must drink.”
4. “Over 18, has a pulse, smarter than me but not smart enough to avoid me altogether.”
5. “Brunette, green eyes, C cup, hourglass shape. Intelligent, similar interests, knows a reasonable amount about politics. Fun and exciting job, thriving professionally. Not a stay at home Mom. Reasonably well-educated. Social, likes to go out and have fun, nothing too reckless. Not taller than me 5’7 ft-5’9 ft.”
6. “Cannot be taller than me. Cannot have clown feet. A really hot chick who is not a bitch. Insightful and artistic without being pretentious or too hipster. Likes video games, open taste in music, picky eater, does not like sports. Smart without being critical. Cannot have too many friends.”
7. “If they are kind to strangers, how loud they talk (if they are at an appropriate volume). Nice teeth. Genuine interests, motivated. Style: does not have to be a fashionista, but does not look like a hobo.”
8. “Honest, attractive, good butt, chemistry (physical and emotional), great conversation, how they interact with my friends, not sexually closed minded, can take a joke, friendly banter.”
9. “Number 1 face, I need a cute face. Number 2, brains I cannot be with a dumb girl. Number 3, butt and legs, because if they have a good butt and good legs they probably have a good core.”
10. “Cute, sexy, good sense of humor, everything else is a bonus. Do not be too clingy, be clingy at the right moment (do not bother a guy every day). Brunette. They do not have to be a big fan of sports but can watch them with me. Likes to eat out, but not super pretentious about their food. No vegans. A girl that has a lot of good girlfriends, a girl who has a crew (something is wrong if a girl does not have any girlfriends). In a weird way, I like a girl who burps. That means she knows how to make fun of herself.”
11. “Nice ass, boobs. Front and back features. A maestro in the kitchen. Complains less.”
12. “Perfect girl I would say is someone who doesn’t have it all but has a bit of everything. She is smart enough to hold a conversation (when I am sober). Classy in all the right ways, however, she can have a trashy side (but that is something only her friends should know). Thinks a little bit like a man, she understands social norms and is cool with you having time with your boys.”
13. “A woman who has a basic understanding of time. I like to have a chase, I like to have to woo her. Good body/face, low maintenance, good sense of humor. Can take fair criticism, well-mannered in public, goofy alone.”
14. “The perfect woman is feminine, classy, can cook, and clean. Brunette, fit, 5ft 7ish. Intelligent and funny. I like it when they are both artistic and sporty. Not easily offended. No left-wing liberals.”
15. “I like a woman that can hold a conversation about anything whether it’s movies, travel plans, or even politics, religion…etc. Women with taste – i.e. cultured (interested in fashion, current events, trends) and women that are goal-oriented for example: personal career aspirations and lastly family oriented.”
16. “Someone I am attracted to, a bit weird, a bit cynical, would share some of my disdain for things in general. Enjoys pineapple on their pizza.”
17. “No pointy chin, good cook, good with kids. Makes me soup when I am sick. Compassionate, not shallow, needs to be self-aware. Sexually adventurous. Sticks up for you no matter what. She knows you’re wrong, but still backs you up. Respects your family.”
18. “Outgoing, caring, adventurous, loyal, beautiful, and intelligent. A girl I could bring out on boys night and still have the same amount of fun. Or a girl I can learn something from every day.”
19. “Got to be smart, funny, has to let me cook for her. Takes care of her body/is healthy. Be outdoorsy/hike and roadies.”
20. “Someone who makes you more ambitious and does not let you off easy. Level-headed.”
21. “Nobody wants a feminist.”
22. “Nice ass, down to earth personality, radiant smile. No cat people. Nice eyes.”
23. “Brunette. Smarter than me but doesn’t know it. Cute, girl next door look. Trustful and truthful.”
24. “No drama, flexible and solution orientated. Considerate, has purpose. Wellness/fitness focused, open to trying new things.”
25. “From where I stand in my life currently, my perfect woman would be someone who would push me to take action and attempt all the things I speak about wanting to do/learn, but never follow-through with. A woman who would grind with me during the day, be in the library or at a coffee shop getting work done, while also cracking the first (of many) beers with me that same night. A woman with a wicked sense of humor that leaves you caught off guard while she just stands there smiling at you.
A professional woman who is determined and intelligent in a way that makes you want to better yourself in order to not be left behind. Also a woman with a gentle kindness that makes people want to befriend her. I guess when I say woman, I think I really mean partner. Someone I can share the daily, household duties with equally. Whoever’s home first starts cooking, and so on. Someone who teaches me to lower my guard and express myself in ways I never would’ve imagined.
Overwhelming trust is a given, both ways. I am not and never plan to be the jealous type. I want her to have as much fun with her friends without me as she wants, and vice-versa. I want a lover in every sense of the world, who shares my hunger for exploration. I want a woman who will be my little spoon 98% of the time, but the big spoon the 2% when I need her to be. Traveling the world is a given. Starting a family together is another given to me, there’s no point in a relationship unless it’s a forever type of deal. Corny, yes.” 
