1. You expect them to do all the work. You answer their messages — but you never send the first one. You agree to hang out with them whenever they set plans — but you’re never the one who thinks to invite them over. You make out with them — but you’re never the one initiating the affection. Basically, you’ll go along with whatever they want to do and treat them with kindness, but they’re putting in the bulk of the work. You have no interest in pursuing them, so if they stopped putting in effort one day, you would completely drift apart.
2. You refuse to take the next step in your relationship. You feel uncomfortable leaving an extra toothbrush at their place, even though they insist. You feel weird about giving them a key to your apartment, even though it was their idea. You’re not really interested in moving in together or putting a label on the relationship, either. There’s nothing wrong with taking the relationship slow, but if you’ve been together for a while and have no interest in taking steps the other person seems excited about, you owe it to them to leave.
3. You’re pretty secretive about them. You never post pictures of them on social media. You never switch your relationship status to taken. You avoid answering questions about your love life, even when you’re talking to close friends and family who you should be excited to tell about your partner. There’s nothing wrong with keeping your relationship private, but keeping your person a secret is another story.
4. You get freaked out whenever you discuss the future. Whenever they talk about growing old with you or getting married or popping out babies, you get nervous. You immediately change the subject. Maybe you’re scared of commitment. Or maybe you’re scared of making a commitment to them. Maybe you don’t see the relationship lasting as long as they do — and you need to tell them that soon.
5. You’re still actively flirting with other people. Maybe you swipe through dating apps whenever you’re bored. Or maybe you still talk to the ex who clearly wants to get back together with you. Either way, you’re keeping your options open. You have a good idea of who you’re going to chase after if your current relationship ends, which means you aren’t fully invested in making the relationship work.
6. You don’t put much effort into big events. You don’t put all that much thought into their birthday gifts and you’re fine with skipping Valentine’s Day. Maybe you’re not the romantic type — or maybe you simply have no interest in wooing them. Maybe you like having them around when it’s convenient for you, but you don’t want to put in any extra effort because they don’t mean all that much to you.
7. You consider breaking up often. If you’re always daydreaming about what it would be like to be single again, and wishing that you had more freedom than you do right now, then you should leave the relationship. Give them a chance to find someone who is more invested in their love.