Breaking up with your significant other is extremely painful, no matter how long you’ve been together or what the circumstances were for the breakup. A breakup is the end of a chapter in your life, and turning the page to move on to the next story is often hard to do. As humans, we tend to hold on to what we know. We cling to the familiar memories, to the good times, to the safety of being “us” instead of “me.” Losing your other half is messy—your emotions will turn upside down and inside out, but you are strong and you will weather this storm, just like you’ve done many times before.
When you’re in the messy middle of a breakup, it can feel impossible to think about anything else. The other person consumes your thoughts, they fill all the empty spaces in your mind and heart, and that’s okay, that’s natural. Allow yourself to feel all the emotions you’re feeling. Allow the sadness to swallow you whole, but don’t get stuck there.
It’s easy to get stuck in the sadness. To feel you’ve made a mistake or to feel like you’ll never know happiness again, but I can promise you this: you will know great joy and happiness on the other side of this. However, it’s up to you to keep pushing forward. You have to keep your head and heart held high as you navigate these murky waters. And perhaps most importantly, you have to keep the faith. The faith that what is meant for you will stay. The faith that the universe has your back, and that the closing of one door opens another, one you maybe never expected or knew you needed.
You see, as painful as a breakup is, it’s also a new beginning, a fresh start, a journey to discovering your truest self—what’s most important to you, what moves you, what makes your spirit feel alive. I know you can’t see through the haze right now. I know you feel like all of the broken pieces of your heart will never fit back together again, but dear sweet human, I am here to tell you that you will get past this. You will feel whole again, you might even feel more alive than you’ve ever felt in your life. The world is your oyster and I believe in you. I believe in your strength, your tenacity, your brilliance and your unshakable will to persevere through hard times. You’ve done it before and you’ll do it again, and this time you’ll be wiser than the last. You’ve seen darkness before, you’ve been at the depths of despair, and still, you overcame. You fell down but you stood up again—with a stronger heart, a calmer mind and a passion for life you didn’t know existed.
I want you to remember that you are brave. You are courageous and you are loved beyond belief. No matter the reason for the breakup, the end of a relationship does not define you. It’s a part of you, but it’s not all of you. There is so much more to your story.
A breakup doesn’t mean you’re damaged, that you’re unworthy of love or that you’ve done anything wrong. It’s simply the end of something that no longer serves you. Maybe you learned the lessons you were meant to learn. Maybe your soul was desperate for change. Maybe the universe knew you were meant for more. Whatever the reason, find solace in knowing good things are on the way for you. For the love you poured into someone else will find its way back to you.
Oftentimes we’re so afraid of change that we can’t see the beauty of new beginnings or the freedom of being alone. Being single can be the most spiritually rewarding experience in your life if you accept and embrace it. Being single allows you to weave a new story, be the person you’ve always wanted to be, explore the dark and insecure areas of yourself and begin to shed light on them. Of course, you can do those things in a relationship, but it’s a heck of a lot easier to focus on yourself and your needs when you’re single. When you really get in tune with who you are, what you want out of life and the type of person you want to be with, that’s when the universe can send you your perfect match.
Sweet friend, as hard as a breakup is, you’ll soon see that it was a blessing in disguise. Perhaps you’ll end up back together after some time of self-reflection, or maybe this breakup is allowing you to close one door so you can walk through another. As Alexander Graham Bell famously said, “When one door closes, another opens; but we often look so long and so regretfully upon the closed door that we do not see the one which has opened for us.” It’s okay to feel the sadness and heartbreak of a breakup deeply, but don’t forget to look ahead at the possibilities before you. Don’t forget that the universe has your back and wants nothing but good things for you. And finally, don’t forget that you perfect the way you are. The right person will see that and love you through all the bumps in the road.