1. There is nothing more stressful than having to buy a plane ticket a few months in advance, because what if you don’t want to go on that trip? What if you want to do something else entirely? What will you do then????
2. 90% of your plans are made the day of, so your text messages are always, “hey, what are you up to immediately or in like 4 hours, wanna get a drink?”
3. People who need to make plans months in advance because they are so busy just legitimately stress you out. You have an opening 3 months from now? Ok, let’s talk like 2 days before that day and see where we’re at.
4. Your life’s motto: No plan is ever as good as a canceled plan.
5. You know the pure ecstasy that comes when you get a text canceling a plan you were dreading living out anyway. It’s like the God of Hating Plans was specifically fulfilling your prayers that day.
6. You are constantly straddling the line between wanting to be social but never ever ever ever wanting to be tied into a plan. It’s not you, friends you actually like, it’s the plans!
7. A weekend of complete plan-less-ness is untouchable joy. The hours are spread before you like a beautiful buffet of time you can gorge yourself on. JOY!
8. If you find someone who you will always make advanced plans with no matter how far in advance said plans are, you fiercely hold onto them because they are the rarest species of human you’ve ever encountered in your life.
9. It’s Monday and you have legitimate plans you cannot squirm your way out of every night this week, on a scale of 1 to losing your shit entirely, where you at right now?
10. When people send you wedding save the date’s for a year from now, you’re like, hooookay, don’t worry, I’m FREE.
11. When anyone tries to make a plan with you a week or more in advance, your answer is this weird non-committal “sure, maybe” in which you are at least 80% sure you will be canceling that plan in the near future.
12. When you have a legitimate reason to say no to a plan because you are, randomly, already busy, it feels good to not have to lie or make up some excuse to not go to whatever you were invited to. You’re like, “OH I AM ACTUALLY ALREADY BUSY WOW SORRY CAN’T MAKE IT!!!!” in a perhaps far too gleeful tone of voice.
13. You know the uncomfortable feeling of having no reason to cancel a plan, but being overwhelmingly convinced that you must, so convinced that you are sure something catastrophic will happen if you do not cancel, so it’s like your karmic duty to cancel, basically.
14. …Even so, there’s a lot of anxiety leading up to the actual canceling of the plan.
15. …But then when you receive the green light from whoever you were canceling on that you are in the clear and they actually wanted to “stay home, too, lol” you are in a state of pure, unbelievable, jubilation. It’s like Christmas morning wrapped up in a surprise birthday party you didn’t have to plan for!