1. You are so good at seeing both sides of anything that sometimes you find yourself having talked into a circle and you’re like, what do I even feel anymore?
2. Actually, you’re so good at seeing both sides that you’re almost too good at it. You can change your position on a whim, but are not wishy-washy; you genuinely believe different things on different days.
3. You are the most talkative person you’ve ever met. Your greatest party trick that all your friends are sick of by now is your ability to have an opinion on anything that’s ever existed in the history of life.
4. You overanalyze with the same fervency as someone who is trying to cure cancer and you constantly want to know why people do the things that they do and then, once you know why, you want to dissect it, much to the detriment of the friends you have that are not Geminis and are like, do you ever stop thinking? To which the answer is no, you never stop thinking.
5. Forget PMS, you are moody on the regular. Peace be to whoever dates you because whoa do they have their hands full.
6. Moody or not, you are such a delight to be around that you will seduce any potential lover with such wit and charm that, by the time they realize your duality, they’ll be like, “I don’t even care, you make me feel young and alive. I can forgive you for acting like you are Mary-Kate and Ashley at the same time.”
7. You never need coffee because you are constantly on a caffeine high that cannot ever be cooled down.
8. You are the center of attention wherever you go, whether you like it or not. People are acutely attracted to you, which on the one hand feels great, but on the other, you need to decompress like anyone else, so you cancel plans seriously all the time, which makes you feel like kind of a jerk, so the next time you see those people you feel compelled to double up on the charm.
9. You are so open-minded that it’s actually difficult for you to conceive how anyone hates anyone else, which makes you sad for humanity (also, because you’re dramatic).
10. Your entire life follows this cycle: start new routine, do new routine for two weeks, stop new routine because you are bored, get mad at yourself for stopping your routine, start new routine, do new routine for two weeks, stop new routine because you are bored, AND REPEAT UNTIL YOU DIE, APPARENTLY.
11. You avoid boredom so much that you create stupid drama in your life just to have something to focus on, which is not fun, but hey, at least you’re not bored.
12. At some point, someone wanted to put you on Ritalin because you were/are the most ADD person in the entire world.
13. When you try to make a decision, it’s Sophie’s Choice levels of intense up in your mind. You have the incredible ability to talk yourself in and out of every decision you need to make, many times letting opportunities pass you by just to avoid the insanity that is trying to decide something for yourself.
14. You have the incredible ability to skim a Wikipedia entry about something then talk about it as if you are a scholar on that subject. The real struggle is when someone wants to talk deeper about it and you’re like, “Ummmmmmmmm, BYEEEEE”
15. Your frenetic energy can seriously stress people the fuck out.
16. At any given time, you are starting or abandoning 5-10 projects. It’s not that you’re totally flighty (you are, though, let’s be real), it’s really that you have so many interests you just don’t know where to put your time and energy. (That sounds better than the real fear Geminis have that they are perhaps just never ever going to finish anything fucking ever.)
17. You abhor conventionality almost as much as you abhor boredom, which can be exhausting sometimes because you’re always trying to go against the tide and sometimes, honestly, you just wanna float and go with the tide and eat froyo like the basic bitch you envy, because their life is so simple.
18. When people say that a good salesperson can “sell ice to an eskimo,” they were definitely talking about a Gemini.
19. You can make someone really interested in you without trying too hard, but then change your mind on a dime and be like, “Nope, sorry, lost interest, bubye.”
20. You literally lost focus while reading this list.
By the way, Happy Birthday month, Geminis!