Thought Catalog

9 Important Things To Remember When Your Life Feels Like A Complete Shitshow

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Fred Tougas
Fred Tougas

1. Everything is temporary.

I know this is so cliche, right? Like, what total bullshit LOL. Because when painful stuff goes down, it doesn’t feel temporary. It feels like forever. Emotions are often intense, and when you’re looking in all directions, but still see them EVERYWHERE, it’s hard to imagine them ever fading. We don’t see an ending, but I promise there is one.

There are places in northern Alaska where, during the winter, it can be night for up 67 straight days. But after the longest, darkest, night imaginable, the sun does eventually rise. A new day does come. And it will for you too.

2. Growth happens in pain.

Life isn’t a movie as much as it is a painting. We can’t think of things sequentially, this-leading-to-that. Rather, we are living all the parts that will ultimately come together to create a beautiful work — even when it isn’t clear how they will EVER do so.

3. Failing doesn’t make you a failure.

Nothing great has every happened without mistakes. Virtually everything great that has ever happened in the world has been preceded by a mine-field of f*ckups and missteps. If you have recently experienced what seems like a domino chain of failings, know that that doesn’t make you a failure.

It means you are slowly weeding out things that don’t work, and won’t work for you. You are one step closer to that dream relationship, dream job, dream life. You just have to to summon the courage to keep going.

4. Everyone has bad nights.

We’ve all been there. Those nights that end with us leaning over a toilet hacking up shots of cranberry vodka and regret. Those lonely nights where we text our ex, have a bad hookup, or do something we wish we could take back. Those nights were we feel anger, sadness, fear, helplessness, despair.

These are human emotions, human moments, human experiences. Why do we want so badly to not be human?

Of course, the answer is obvious — these emotions suck. They suck big time. But they are apart of us. Shake it off and keep going. Your life is not defined by your worst moment. You are so so much more than that.

5. People who leave you are people you shouldn’t miss.

Sam: Why do I and everyone I love pick people who treat us like we’re nothing?
Charlie: We accept the love we think we deserve.

Too often we surround ourselves with people who have conditional relationships with us. We let ourselves get put into boxes and get used by people who don’t offer us anything permanent. Who don’t offer us anything unconditionally.

And that’s not to say that having acquaintances or superficial friendships is a bad thing. Sometimes they’re great! But you absolutely must stop blaming yourself for people who walk out of your life. If they leave, they weren’t meant to stay, and that’s okay.

6. Drama is inevitable, what you do about it isn’t.

People are always gonna talk about people. Shit is gonna go down, but it doesn’t have to take you down with it.

Sometimes in the messiest, stupidest drama we discover who our true friends are.

7. Money is important, but not the most important.

So maybe you’re broke, god knows I am. And it’s easy to say, “Oh, money doesn’t matter! Oh live your life, money will come!” but we all know that to one degree or another, we rely on money. But what’s important is that you have enough of it it to sustain your needs, not how much you have relative to other people, which tends to be EXACTLY the thing society focuses on.

If you have enough money to pay your rent, fill your stomach, and buy a box of wine, you’re doing fine.

8. Everybody is jealous of someone.

Don’t beat yourself up for being envious of a classmate or friend. Nobody is immune from a little jealousy now and again. Just don’t let envy completely take over your life. Take a step back every now and again and think about the things you do have, rather than the things you haven’t.

9. Nobody knows what the f*ck they’re doing.

Even the most well put together person is worried about something. Even the one co-worker who has a 401k, nice car, and adorable dog is struggling. We are all in this together. Life isn’t easy, but don’t spend it being hard on yourself. We all have a limited amount of time, and nobody is getting out of it alive. TC mark

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    • http://voluptuouscara.wordpress.com Cara

      It’s true that nobody knows what the fuck they’re doing. I think of my sister, who is married with two children, as having her shit more together than I do (I’m broke, unemployed, single, childless, and living at home). I was surprised when my sister (on her birthday) said she’s not ready for and dreading the next ten years, in which she will become a “middle aged” woman & her daughter (now a preschooler) will be a teenager. And I realized that however broke & unemployed, living at home, single & childless I am, whatever my future will include, it probably won’t include wrangling a teenage daughter. That I’m responsible for just me, while my sister is responsible for other people.

    • cherry

      M going through a rough day . I so needed this :) thanks

    • https://thediaryoferizane.wordpress.com/2016/04/04/helpful/ Helpful – thediaryoferizane

      […] via 9 Important Things To Remember When Your Life Feels Like A Complete Shitshow — Thought Catalog […]

    • http://greenteawithsugarblog.wordpress.com greenteawithsugar18

      You just made my day less shitty. I needed this. Thank you :)

    • https://brenicojayblog.wordpress.com/2016/04/05/9-important-things-to-remember-when-your-life-feels-like-a-complete-shitshow/ 9 Important Things To Remember When Your Life Feels Like A Complete Shitshow | Lifestyle Writing
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