Stop texting me as if everything is okay between us.

Stop trying to walk back into my life as if you didn’t do anything wrong.

Stop pretending the past didn’t happen because it makes you uncomfortable.

I’m not going to forget about what you have done, just because a few days have gone by. I’m not going to forgive you because it’s the easiest thing to do. If you think I am going to quietly accept the way you have treated me, then you are out of your damn mind.

I’m not going to have a normal conversation with you. I’m not going to text you back when we haven’t even spoken in weeks.

You might be able to pretend that yesterday and the day before that doesn’t exist, but I am not capable of erasing the past. I can’t forget the way you spoke to me. I keep replaying our fights inside of my head, wondering how someone who supposedly cares about me could be so cruel.

You don’t get to walk back into my life as if we’re friends. You lost me the second you screwed me over. 

I don’t understand how you could think we could go back to the way things were — especially when you never gave me an apology. You never talked things through with me. You never owned up to the nasty shit you said.

I wonder if you even feel guilty about what went down between us. If you even remember the words you said to me.

Maybe you don’t realize how fucked up your behavior has been. Maybe you don’t realize how often I have been crying because of you. Maybe you are completely oblivious to what I have been going through lately.

Or maybe you think I’m stupid enough to give you another chance. Maybe you think my self-worth is so fucking low that I will continue to let you take advantage of me. 

I’m sorry, but I’m not the person who will clean up your messes anymore. I’m not going to fake smiles in front of you when you are the reason why I find it hard to smile in the first place.

I hate the way you are handling the situation. You are acting like you didn’t do anything wrong, like nothing bad happened between us. You are ignoring the past because that’s what you want me to do.

You want me to forget. You want me to go back to treating you the way I always have, because you’re worried about losing me. You’re realizing I’m about to raise my standards and walk away and that’s the last thing you want.

That is why you keep pretending. You remain in denial. You have created a fantasy land where everything is okay, where you never broke me into pieces.

I would rather have you sit me down and apologize than act like everything is perfectly fine. It is not fine. I am not fine. Nothing is ever going to be fine between us again.